Most parents address their child's dream outside of the so called "job world" as- irrational, hobby, impossible. And I wanna speak for the child. You have no idea how by not supporting her interests you're crushing every ounce of her hopes and dreams. She just wants to figure out what she was supposed to become. She wants herself to be found first, not reformed. She wants to see the world out there and she just wants it so bad that her heart can't settle into one big ambition.
She just realizes she's an investment of your choice. She's chained to what you choose for her life for you say, you know the best for her. She realizes she can't get out of the outline of the box because she's been designed not to escape it. She's bound to go with your expectations. She's a performer for your goal. She has to score so you can have a sigh of relief that she can be on her own now. It's like raising a caged bird and suddenly you have a feeling that she should be able to manage herself so you throw her out the window. You think, she would do well in the world outside, she would get a job to support herself so you don't have to invest on her anymore. But never have you thought about what she would feel being suddenly immersed into a world she's known very little about. Never have you asked her what she wanted, what she genuinely wanted from her life. You just set her free after years of making her stay within your territory. Now what the caged bird would do? She would move on immediately because she was waiting for it all along. She was dreaming about it day and night. She would stumble, she would crawl but she is free. You have no expectations on her. She would no longer befall you or panic you by crossing a limit you've been set for her. And maybe she would grow into something you've plotted for her. Maybe she not. But right then it wouldn't be your decision to choose. It wouldn't have anything to do with your investments. She would have to figure it out herself. She would have to believe her own instincts, that she never knew existed. Now tell me this. Did all your training "inside the cage" help the little bird to suddenly become resistant to the whole new level you just pushed her in? Did anything ever helped rather than some sore memories of you saying what she wanted to do was irrational, unimportant, hobby not a real life deal? Now all you wanted and have done for her seems irrational to her. She hasn't learned to deal with the real world through all your investments and paper goals.
You didn't leave enough space for her to grow. You just said what she can do and what she can't. You overestimated your hopes and underestimated hers. You didn't let her decide, let her be in charge of herself, you didn't push where she needed a push. You just pulled her,dragged her out of her fairy-tale and dismissed every choice she wanted to make. You didn't show your support on the things she might have an interest. You just showed what you supported. You spent half of your money on things you wanted for her, not what she wanted. Yet you want a profit outta this.. You want this girl to grow accordingly so you can proudly get her out of your shoulder, like she's been an awful responsibility. You want a break and so you just give her out to someone else, then you would start missing her, say sweet things about her in her absence, things you never have said when she's been there with you all along. Now you miss her. Of course you do.
She on the other hand, can't think of any reasons to hate you. Because she is officially designed to love you. And it hurts her more, because she feels like a burden. She feels like you don't deserve her. She feels marooned to your choices yet she wants to make you happy. She can't go against your refusal. So she spends a good amount of her life hiding what she loves and keeps dreaming about it. But all she wants is to step out of your system. PLEASE LET HER. She wants to be a traveler. PLEASE LET HER BE. And she wants your approval. PLEASE GIVE IT TO HER. She wants to make it a profession. DON'T SAY IT'S A HOBBY.
There are tons, tons of jobs available in the job field for people who wants to travel. There are chances that if she tries hard, she might get one of those. But she's not trying for she is looking up at you for support. She needs a push because (sorry for using the same word again) she is officially "designed" for a push. And you drag her by saying it's a blip, it's irrational, she can't afford losing her mind because you're not rich. Do you know how hard it already has been for her to live up to your expectations, how hard it is for her to think that she is not financially secured to think a life like that? A life she wants so bad that she accepted the cage life you granted her, hoping that someday you would open the door to her escape and she will do everything she can to chase after what she truly ever wanted- what she craved when she was inside, what you dismissed her of doing, she would violate every rule. She gave up to cage life. To your decisions. Just until you decide to let her go.
LET HER GO SOON PLEASE.
She just realizes she's an investment of your choice. She's chained to what you choose for her life for you say, you know the best for her. She realizes she can't get out of the outline of the box because she's been designed not to escape it. She's bound to go with your expectations. She's a performer for your goal. She has to score so you can have a sigh of relief that she can be on her own now. It's like raising a caged bird and suddenly you have a feeling that she should be able to manage herself so you throw her out the window. You think, she would do well in the world outside, she would get a job to support herself so you don't have to invest on her anymore. But never have you thought about what she would feel being suddenly immersed into a world she's known very little about. Never have you asked her what she wanted, what she genuinely wanted from her life. You just set her free after years of making her stay within your territory. Now what the caged bird would do? She would move on immediately because she was waiting for it all along. She was dreaming about it day and night. She would stumble, she would crawl but she is free. You have no expectations on her. She would no longer befall you or panic you by crossing a limit you've been set for her. And maybe she would grow into something you've plotted for her. Maybe she not. But right then it wouldn't be your decision to choose. It wouldn't have anything to do with your investments. She would have to figure it out herself. She would have to believe her own instincts, that she never knew existed. Now tell me this. Did all your training "inside the cage" help the little bird to suddenly become resistant to the whole new level you just pushed her in? Did anything ever helped rather than some sore memories of you saying what she wanted to do was irrational, unimportant, hobby not a real life deal? Now all you wanted and have done for her seems irrational to her. She hasn't learned to deal with the real world through all your investments and paper goals.
You didn't leave enough space for her to grow. You just said what she can do and what she can't. You overestimated your hopes and underestimated hers. You didn't let her decide, let her be in charge of herself, you didn't push where she needed a push. You just pulled her,dragged her out of her fairy-tale and dismissed every choice she wanted to make. You didn't show your support on the things she might have an interest. You just showed what you supported. You spent half of your money on things you wanted for her, not what she wanted. Yet you want a profit outta this.. You want this girl to grow accordingly so you can proudly get her out of your shoulder, like she's been an awful responsibility. You want a break and so you just give her out to someone else, then you would start missing her, say sweet things about her in her absence, things you never have said when she's been there with you all along. Now you miss her. Of course you do.
She on the other hand, can't think of any reasons to hate you. Because she is officially designed to love you. And it hurts her more, because she feels like a burden. She feels like you don't deserve her. She feels marooned to your choices yet she wants to make you happy. She can't go against your refusal. So she spends a good amount of her life hiding what she loves and keeps dreaming about it. But all she wants is to step out of your system. PLEASE LET HER. She wants to be a traveler. PLEASE LET HER BE. And she wants your approval. PLEASE GIVE IT TO HER. She wants to make it a profession. DON'T SAY IT'S A HOBBY.
There are tons, tons of jobs available in the job field for people who wants to travel. There are chances that if she tries hard, she might get one of those. But she's not trying for she is looking up at you for support. She needs a push because (sorry for using the same word again) she is officially "designed" for a push. And you drag her by saying it's a blip, it's irrational, she can't afford losing her mind because you're not rich. Do you know how hard it already has been for her to live up to your expectations, how hard it is for her to think that she is not financially secured to think a life like that? A life she wants so bad that she accepted the cage life you granted her, hoping that someday you would open the door to her escape and she will do everything she can to chase after what she truly ever wanted- what she craved when she was inside, what you dismissed her of doing, she would violate every rule. She gave up to cage life. To your decisions. Just until you decide to let her go.
LET HER GO SOON PLEASE.
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