Skip to main content

Confession#23

29th August, 2014


My grandpa died on this date a year ago. I was in college when he passed away. He was feeling sick in the morning that day, and I was leaving for my college. My instincts were telling me that it could be bad news. But I didn’t miss my college for him. Neither my parents told me to do so. So I missed seeing him in his death bed. I last saw him maybe on eid the previous year. He gave me salami. I could remember his old wrinkled smile. His eyes used to sparkle. And I can see how lonely he used to be without dadu.
I wasn’t there when he took his last breath. In fact I was barely there the time he was alive. I’m a bad grand-daughter. Really bad. I hardly went down his apartment to see him. I didn’t take care of him. He was there, just one floor beneath us, he was there the whole time. But I didn’t bother to just say hi or ask him about his health.
And I chose not to see him at his vulnerable state. Not because I care. But because he barely existed to me. And I barely existed to him. But I cried. I cried when my chachu scolded me for acting all normal, tearless. I cried complaining that I had to go to college on that particular day and no one bothered to give me the news of my grandpa’s death. I cried because I couldn’t feel the loss, I couldn’t get attached to my own grandpa and grandma like everybody else. That I’ve been so selfish granddaughter who didn’t attend her grandpa’s funeral. I cried so miserably but I didn’t feel a thing for him being dead. He was still a complete stranger to me. My chachu felt sorry for me seeing me all weeping, he showed me a picture of my dead grandpa on his mobile, I just glanced at it. Where is he now? How’s he doing? Is he with grandma?
 There’s gonna be a milad arranged today in regard to his death anniversary, everyone was talking about it. And eventually I remembered this date.
He used to come to our house for dinner every night. My mom used to cook the dishes. He had a great taste for food. He had this ceramic white and blue glass. He used to drink in it. Now I look at the glass every night in my dining table and it kind of creeps me out. It feels so weird even touching the glass and drinking in it. I don’t use it. But I’ve seen others in my family use it. I don’t know why, but It just feels like he left his saliva on that glass, and It gives me Goosebumps just looking at it. That he used be alive around us. Now he’s not.

Confession #24

In The Fault in Our Stars novel ; Augustus Waters said, he fears oblivion. I didn’t get him. I was like what about it? When you’re dying, you should fear death. You should be shivering of the fear because you’d be leaving out of your body and your soul to be headed to some unknown direction. You don’t know what happens next, what is up there. Why would you fear oblivion?
He wanted to leave a scar before he leaves. He wanted his individuality, he wanted people to remember him when he’s not here. And he did accomplish that. He was loved and remembered by Hazel Grace. He didn’t get lost in translation. Then again, it was just a novel.
My grandpa is dead for a year now. He’s no where to be seen. And what? Is he upset of us, that we are gradually forgetting  the pain of losing him? Oblivion, if that’s what Augustus Waters was so afraid of. Why? He was depressed. He was alive. He was living. Ask me, I too want to live even after  my death. But I don’t afford that. I’m no legend. People who love me may or may not cry in my funeral. Then after a year, they will adjust, their feelings will fade away, my death anniversary will be remembered through milad and biryani and a munajat. They will pray for my peace. And after decades, I’d be lost, there will be no trace of my existence here, that I was a girl full of hopes and dreams, I once loved someone so dearly and that I used to cry over the simplest and dumbest things on earth. But I don’t fear my oblivion. What I fear is the after-life. Being alone there, without my family, ammu abbu, ifty and api. I fear of uncertainty and the loneliness I’d be facing.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...

world war?

 Dear B,  I don't watch the news but there has been a lot of speculations on social media of a possible world war III. My sister just texted me that I should save up money as we don't know what that might do to the economy. It is ironic because I just ordered something online last night. Every time I go out, I spend. I don't even have a good paying job and I spend like I have full time. However, one thing I learned from my past is that there is no point in stressing about the future. What I have control over is now. I can either live in the moment or ruin it by ruminating and what good will it bring to my life? Living alone can get boring. However, I am trying to find things to do. Maybe I will visit a bookstore today. Lets see.  I have rearranged the furnitures yesterday. Cleaned as well. The place looks good.  Maybe I will go IKEA. I love it there. Even though I can't afford furnitures, I just enjoy looking at them. Oh what to tell you B. My in-laws are coming this...

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

“If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life." "I look exactly the same." "No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all." "If you're so smart, how did I change today?" "You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer. And your breasts grew a fraction of a—" "They did not!" "Yes, they did." "Did NOT." "Did too." "What else, you big pig?" "You got a little happier and also a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel out each other, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also become a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which me...