Skip to main content
Time heals pain. It does not heal the scars, the memories, the left outs. It can only shorten some heartaches, but not the feelings you once felt, the moments that you once cherished.
I thought when my sis would leave; I'd cry couple of weeks for her,frequently miss her.And then maybe, after months living apart we'd be fine,we'd be moving on with our lives.Cry less.Feel less.That's how it seemed to me at first.But it's not like that at all. I cannot just cry a river and get over her just like that. I can't forget all those moments I shared with her.Not even in a thousand weeks.Because those moments,they're unforgettable,it's like they're all sealed to my heart.She's been sealed to my heart. 

The only best friend I have in my life is Api. I'd caught her secret laughs every freaking time.It's me who knows all the reasons to the tears she shed. Her secrets.Weirdness level.Her most imperfect ways. I know every little thing about her. I'm kind of accustomed to living with her.And you wouldn't believe how much I prefer her opinions. I never changed my online profile picture without her approval. I know it's crazy but I'd never really choose a dress or shop without asking her if I'm choosing right.

One thing api probably doesn't know herself. She's one of a kind. And the strongest person I've known.
Some things I don't even like about her. But I never imagined api without her flaws.And trust me I never wanted someone perfect, I never wanted another one. She's everything I ever wanted in a sister.

My family would be completely incomplete without her. I'd be crying alone in my room for her to come and be mad at me. I would be dying to tell her the funny things that happened the day. I'd be killing to make her laugh by my stupid jokes. I'd be watching movies alone, sleeping alone ,wouldn't run to her with my problems and ideas. I'd never laugh so hard because there'd be no one to crack jokes at. 

So time or dare I say eternity, nothing can change the fact I had what I had with my sis. Nothing can recreate or spoil the memories I had with her or be having with her apart.She'd always be the person I'd look forward to. And I'd love her as much as I do now. There's no doubt about it. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

 Some thoughts. Our old generation glorified selfless acts to the point that they started calling putting themselves first as: 'selfish.'  To a certain period of time, I have also followed this pattern.  I thought taking care of me is selfish.  Where taking care of me is fundamental.  You cannot pour out of a cup, which is empty.  So pour yourself first.   I have to unlearn so many of these toxic patterns because these have made my life only miserable and problematic. I am learning that evolving is crucial for living with inner peace.  These days, I value so much about inner peace.  I'll choose it over others anytime, and it is not selfish. It is in fact for greater good.
Post a Comment
Read more

spring is almost here

Hi B,  Season is changing. The hard days are almost over.  The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty.  Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming.  Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me.  Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life.  It feels like I'm falling in love with the city.  I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place.  I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke.  My new mantra for life now is to chill.  Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city.  Write poems.  Paint, maybe.  Seek positivity.  Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
Post a Comment
Read more

long distance again

 I came back from my trip. It was amazing 2 weeks of my life. Seeing him again after so long felt strange yet peaceful. I finally got to be in his arms again. 2 weeks flew by and now I am back home and back to work and normal hustle and bustle of life.  He got an extension offer and decided to stay for another 3 months. It is sad because he was supposed to be back next month. He asked me if he should take it and despite having my heart aching I supported him in the decision. It is not confirmed yet but he probably be staying another 3. Another 5 months of long distance. How am I going to survive the winter by myself? I don't know. Honestly, in my heart, I don't care about how much compensation he be getting. I miss him so much and this long distance thing is killing me inside. Today is Friday night and instead of cuddles and movie, I am home alone. No plans to look forward. No one to talk to. I am the loneliest girl on earth right now. He is probably sleeping and not picking u...
Post a Comment
Read more