opposite sides of a coin

Confession #9

They call me a horny bitch. There should be a reason behind this (Wanting to sleep with Jensen Ackles is an honest obsession, not a horny feeling). And if you’re reading this confession 9 you’d probably find out why. 

So I’m gonna confess all about the things I had learned through porn’s, movies, wikis and also youtube videos. Korean porns, karma sutra. Have you ever really imagined what’s behind this innocent little face?

To clear the misconceptions, may I first tell you what it’s like to be a teenager with raising hormones.  Sex education being a forbidden knowledge. Mother-daughter no sex talk. Embarrassments while kissing scenes came on TV but the remote’s not working and tolerating the bad comments made by parents. Dumping the curiosity. Loneliness and influence of the friends crowd. How it’s like to be the person with zero knowledge about sex. No scope for knowing how this natural thing works. So internet, yeah that helped knowing at least a brief. Umm.. maybe not a brief, full method actually. (In case you think otherwise. I’m still a virgin)

When I watched a porn for the first time, I was so turned on, but had the wrong idea. Because it was a foreign porn, and the girl was sucking the boy’s dick on and on. Yuck. And the video quality wasn’t good at all. They look like two dummies and I thought it couldn’t be true, I mean she wouldn’t really give her mouth in such dirty place. I thought it was some animation, people made it as a joke.  Then at school, I heard it from a girl that when two people have sex, they suck each other’s…eww. And I was like, “Really? So that was real?”  And had the wrong idea again. I thought why people have sex? It’s so dirty. I would never let my husband shove his thing into my mouth. Impossible! I was kind of like – “Okay maybe I’d die a virgin. “

And the big misconception I had before that was “sperm looks like a banana and is a solid thing that comes out of penis during intersections and is pushed into vagina.” Can you believe that?! How dumb I was? Then one night while talking with my sister this topic came, I told her sperm looks like banana-lol she laughed her head off. She told me “Stupid, it’s a liquid type. Not a solid thing. And the penis, it is compared to the size of the banana! Not- !! hahaha…”

And after being fooled and still confused about orgasm, I googled it. Read the full wiki about it. Then I found an article about Islamic way of orgasm and it said it clearly “The mouth is for prayers and purity…” It said something like that. So I was relieved from the pressure of the that icky blow job thing. It’s Haram, Yay.

Then I watched some tutorials on youtube : how to French kiss. Kissing is all about nerves.

After learning how to kiss hypothetically, I went on surfing more about orgasm.

But first, let me tell you how stupid or rather I say innocent I was back in class eight. I never knew about condoms. I didn’t even know what the word meant. What it is used for. So something came up about it while  my friends and I were in English tutor’s house.

“What does It mean?”

“You don’t know? Hey, she doesn’t know about condoms!!” They were all grinning at me.

“May be I should ask the tutor?!” (FYI the tutor was one of my friend’s mother)

“Haha –Yeah go ahead!” They were all making fun of me. I knew it had something to do with sex, I was just lingering so that they could tell me what it’s meaning was. Then I found a dictionary on the table and started looking for it. As it was the time for us to leave, I was on a hurry and couldn’t search it properly. They were all smiling. Then I screamed out-

“I didn’t found condom, but found condemn. Maybe they’re synonyms” (I was weak in English. Obviously)

Then there were juniors who heard me saying this words, they were out of the whole condom discussion all this time and suddenly heard me out saying this, they all greeted me with a silent laugh. They knew too. Despite the age difference. OMG.

Then my friends, they thought we should give it a break as the tutor was in the next room. She might’ve heard us talking this kind of stuff. So they told me what it meant. I was like-“OH! That?!” Then I got back home, surfed the net, learned bunch of stuffs about condoms.

I got acquainted with pleasure sounds that people make during orgasms, and positions. Yeah that one kind of interested me.  I watched a video about karma sutra. . 

The thing that I found most intimating was Cuddling. Aww. Nothing can be that much sweet and sexy.

And warm tight hugs(with the clothes on!)

So maybe I’m horny or whatever. But to me sex is the most beautiful and natural thing ever.