I guess we all have seen this coming. Today, my brother passed his A levels' with em disgraceful grades. He didn't even qualify for my university. If he did, we might try for sibling scholarship. I wish I could blame it on luck, our conditions are so poor. We can't manage a good academic result-all three of us. I feel so bad for my father. He has to spend an awful lot of money on us. I don't know how in the world we will manage- with this financial condition. He is so pressured. I don't know how our family will get out of this alive-there's so much costs. I don't know how he does it. And I feel guilty to have my needs met. I feel guilty, spending money on clothes and shoes and bag. I wish life was easy. I wish Life was so simple that we didn't have to take university level degree to get good jobs. I wish Life was so easy that I could earn some money and contribute to my family. I wish I had some strength in me that I could do well with my study. I wish I could return at least something...Something to my dad- I feel so guilty and sad and scared of how our future will turn out.
Dear B, I don't watch the news but there has been a lot of speculations on social media of a possible world war III. My sister just texted me that I should save up money as we don't know what that might do to the economy. It is ironic because I just ordered something online last night. Every time I go out, I spend. I don't even have a good paying job and I spend like I have full time. However, one thing I learned from my past is that there is no point in stressing about the future. What I have control over is now. I can either live in the moment or ruin it by ruminating and what good will it bring to my life? Living alone can get boring. However, I am trying to find things to do. Maybe I will visit a bookstore today. Lets see. I have rearranged the furnitures yesterday. Cleaned as well. The place looks good. Maybe I will go IKEA. I love it there. Even though I can't afford furnitures, I just enjoy looking at them. Oh what to tell you B. My in-laws are coming this...
Just FYI:
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