I guess we all have seen this coming. Today, my brother passed his A levels' with em disgraceful grades. He didn't even qualify for my university. If he did, we might try for sibling scholarship. I wish I could blame it on luck, our conditions are so poor. We can't manage a good academic result-all three of us. I feel so bad for my father. He has to spend an awful lot of money on us. I don't know how in the world we will manage- with this financial condition. He is so pressured. I don't know how our family will get out of this alive-there's so much costs. I don't know how he does it. And I feel guilty to have my needs met. I feel guilty, spending money on clothes and shoes and bag. I wish life was easy. I wish Life was so simple that we didn't have to take university level degree to get good jobs. I wish Life was so easy that I could earn some money and contribute to my family. I wish I had some strength in me that I could do well with my study. I wish I could return at least something...Something to my dad- I feel so guilty and sad and scared of how our future will turn out.
Hi B, Season is changing. The hard days are almost over. The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty. Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming. Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me. Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life. It feels like I'm falling in love with the city. I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place. I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke. My new mantra for life now is to chill. Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city. Write poems. Paint, maybe. Seek positivity. Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
Just FYI:
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