You want honesty? okay I am going to give you that.
I am not sure if I genuinely like him or I actually force myself to like him because I am single and I feel this urge to be with somebody rather alone. But I feel like I have figured this out. He doesn't like me that way, I think he just wants a girlfriend and he saw some possibilities in me as I was always blushing around him. It wasn't like that before. Before, we didn't know each other, he just hung out with his friend's circle, never actually bothered talking with me. But have I told you, these last few weeks, this last month, I had drastically changed, I had mixed with a big group and he was included there. So I don't know what he saw in me, he just started giving me attention, telling me I'm cute over and over again. And oh gosh what it did to me. Every day I would think about him, no guy has ever given me such attention and I just found him sweet and I don't know I felt like he wanted to be with me or something.
Maybe my reaction told him otherwise. I was always shy to respond to him with good humor. There was this night he sat beside me and told something really deep and I was like not even meeting his eyes to give him the peace of mind that you know you matter to me as well. The first few days, he was active in saying sweet things to me, noticing me and all. And I kind of showed indifference. I don't know why I did that, it was so heartless. I was scared to expose my feelings to him, what if it's just all a big lie?
Then there is this other girl he always sits beside and talk to. He even walks with her. I saw that and it hurt me like no other. And that girl has a boyfriend. So I couldn't clear up my confusion what was it all about...Why was he so desperate before, always complementing me and stuff. Then gradually I noticed he stopped the flirtation, giving me extra attention- I thought maybe he gave up on me. And that wasn't good for my ego. I would crave for his attention then. There goes my dignity.
And yes I have figured it all out. He just needs someone by his side. I am that easy one he can approach to. Just be nice to me and I will melt like Popsicle. Maybe that's what he saw in me. I am so easily impressed. And it is so pathetic that he chose me as the last and least option. But to be honest, there were things about him I pretended to like, because I don't like to be rude. He tried. I tried. But I am not sure about us working out. We don't belong to each other. There's still something that's halting our way. We can't be. I guess by this time he figured it all out.
But one thing that he did to me. He has made me feel lonelier. I feel like I need somebody in my life right now. I am getting sick of being always single. He has distracted me. I wish I weren't to meet him again, ever.
I am not sure if I genuinely like him or I actually force myself to like him because I am single and I feel this urge to be with somebody rather alone. But I feel like I have figured this out. He doesn't like me that way, I think he just wants a girlfriend and he saw some possibilities in me as I was always blushing around him. It wasn't like that before. Before, we didn't know each other, he just hung out with his friend's circle, never actually bothered talking with me. But have I told you, these last few weeks, this last month, I had drastically changed, I had mixed with a big group and he was included there. So I don't know what he saw in me, he just started giving me attention, telling me I'm cute over and over again. And oh gosh what it did to me. Every day I would think about him, no guy has ever given me such attention and I just found him sweet and I don't know I felt like he wanted to be with me or something.
Maybe my reaction told him otherwise. I was always shy to respond to him with good humor. There was this night he sat beside me and told something really deep and I was like not even meeting his eyes to give him the peace of mind that you know you matter to me as well. The first few days, he was active in saying sweet things to me, noticing me and all. And I kind of showed indifference. I don't know why I did that, it was so heartless. I was scared to expose my feelings to him, what if it's just all a big lie?
Then there is this other girl he always sits beside and talk to. He even walks with her. I saw that and it hurt me like no other. And that girl has a boyfriend. So I couldn't clear up my confusion what was it all about...Why was he so desperate before, always complementing me and stuff. Then gradually I noticed he stopped the flirtation, giving me extra attention- I thought maybe he gave up on me. And that wasn't good for my ego. I would crave for his attention then. There goes my dignity.
And yes I have figured it all out. He just needs someone by his side. I am that easy one he can approach to. Just be nice to me and I will melt like Popsicle. Maybe that's what he saw in me. I am so easily impressed. And it is so pathetic that he chose me as the last and least option. But to be honest, there were things about him I pretended to like, because I don't like to be rude. He tried. I tried. But I am not sure about us working out. We don't belong to each other. There's still something that's halting our way. We can't be. I guess by this time he figured it all out.
But one thing that he did to me. He has made me feel lonelier. I feel like I need somebody in my life right now. I am getting sick of being always single. He has distracted me. I wish I weren't to meet him again, ever.
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