spring is almost here

He bothers me. I just cannot get him out of my head. I've rarely seen people, so sure of what they are and what they're doing, he is just one of those people, so confident and sarcastic and everything I would want to see in a man. I am talking about the guy who I was previously, previously crushing on. The one in a committed relationship. I thought I was over him, He holds no good for me. He just looks down at me, like I am some girl with no good potentials, like I am some weak person for him to pick on, it's a dangerous game. But I can't stop myself from falling hard. He is just. So perfect with his sexy voice and swag. I don't know yet why he does it. Yesterday, I caught him staring at me with a smirk on his face, saying "I like you." Of course he means as a friend. Or a sister even, I don't know.This is really hard. I can't process his bullying me most of the time, it's like he can't talk with me without picking on me. Every time he would say something to me I am insecure about. It's his game, isn't it? Seeing me feeling sorry for myself. I hate it yet I let him. I let him tell me how clumsy and weird I am, how I am such an unfit to this world. I am so pathetic at fighting back. He wins, every time. Such a bully he is. It's so damn painful that he's who's all been in my mind since yesterday. I can't stop thinking about him. He's just one big trouble I should avoid. A trap. Yet I cannot stop myself from falling.