Skip to main content
Today was very nice. I had to go with my grandma to the bank this morning to help her pick up her pension fees, The weather was crisp and it lightened up our spirits. The time we were home, I felt like we bonded! If you read my previous posts, you know how much I used to dislike being around her. But these days, I am starting to like her more and more and she's just awesome.

So we spent the whole morning going here and there and oh my god it was fun. We had our lunch in the car, fresh oranges and because of the national day of our country that's on 16th, we got to watch jet planes stunts in the sky, noisy tho but I liked being outside. Staying at home is so devastating.

I felt kind of weird at first, because in the bank, where the pension receipts are handled, were all the old people coming in. Now point to be noted, I am always awkward around old people because they make me feel someday, I am going to turn out just like them, aged and weak. Anyway, I kind of accepted the fact that, growing old is natural, there's nothing to be scared or awkward about. And yeah...I have no issue of my grandma staying at our house. I often missed my ex roommate- my sister, but nanu being here, made that kind of go away. The room doesn't feel empty anymore.

You know what they say,date someone who spoils you,always says how beautiful you are and never thinks you've had enough to eat,basically, Date your grandma...heehee that is kind of sweet. I'd be glad running errands with my grandma for another time.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...

spring is almost here

Hi B,  Season is changing. The hard days are almost over.  The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty.  Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming.  Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me.  Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life.  It feels like I'm falling in love with the city.  I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place.  I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke.  My new mantra for life now is to chill.  Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city.  Write poems.  Paint, maybe.  Seek positivity.  Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.

healing in progress

 Dear B,  What I learned from the past week is that I tend to take on grief from others in my family like my own. Even though there is nothing I can do about it to ease other's pain. Hence, I suffer internally.  There is a song that I deeply connect with:  Tu Jhoom | Naseebo Lal x Abida Parveen. It kind of goes like this: “What is meant to be yours will find you through any excuse. My heart, understand that there is nothing in your control. You just swirl (let it go)” My brother recently got rejected from a marriage proposal from a girl he really liked. It was arranged but this was his first experience talking with a girl. Seeing him being torn left me in tears as I know how much he was hurting. He is such a gentle soul. I took his pain as if my own and could not sleep at night. Nothing I say could ease his suffering but I still tried to cheer him up. I prayed genuinely for him to be showered with blessings. I want him to experience life, be with someone who would ca...