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Hey B.

Woke up at 5 pm today...Slept at 6am. That exceeds ten hours of sleep.

I've grown custom to this abnormal routine. My attempt to wake up in the mornings has come to a bottomless pit. I just can't. I don't know. Maybe I am not that determined. But this is it. I should stop this thing. My grandma is coming this monday. And with her being in the house, I can't oversleep or stay awake at night. All my privacy will be hampered. All my freedoms would be cut down. Before that I have to get out from this reversed sleep cycle. Or I will struggle to be here at my own house. My habits I have to change before it is too late.

I am not proud of who I am. I never was. Big dreams ahead. Not statistically planned but god they're unreal. For me. I am not a hard worker. I have to go abroad in four years time, I have to. After I graduate I have to make sure I am not sitting around. Have to make sure I am not jobless. But look at me, I don't read newspaper I don't know what is going on at the other end of the world. If I have to succeed I have to be very aware of the current affairs. And of course I have to get good grades. There's still time. I have time for my salvation. I can still make it. I have to write my own future!

 There's no time for stupid shit. I am a grown up now. I can abstain from cruel energy if I want to. It just takes will to change. I have to change myself. It is urgent. Before it's too late. I must stop this. I must stop thinking about a tale that will never come true- I must stop thinking about him. He is never going to feel anything for me. I must stop fancying him and get on making my future a success. This is not my time to be lazy and spend it on daydreaming. Let's get strategic.


 So first thing I have to fix. Is my sleeping hours. I have to sleep 8 hours full at night and wake up in the morning at the same time everyday. Then I will do some exercises. Easy ones. And drink water. Have breakfast with egg. Then on weekends I will start by reading the newspaper and if I have class then get ready for class. Okay pay attention. On weekends I will study in the mornings. On a class day, I will pay attention to the class. Then after class  I will get home, shower have lunch and get to study again. Everyday reading newspaper or watching news is a must. Presentation skills. I have to work on that............................


So much so much to focus on. But let's do it slow and proper. No need to rush. step by step. I will report you about my everyday mini accomplishments.

First thing now- I have to organize my closet. Clear the mess. Donate some clothes. Make my bed...Then study. Yes.

Wish me luck!

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