Do you know how hard it is living with someone you don't get along with? Living with someone you least care about? Someone you can't share your stories with or don't actually want to. It's quite hard. It's harder than you can imagine. It's fucking hard. I'm not...I'm not that kind of girl you know. I'm never good with adjustments. I am not happy with compromises. Unless it's made for the people I love.As for the people I don't love, I have to compromise, isn't actually my way of compromising, it's by force the most disgusting and sickening experience for me. It's all been a nightmare living with my grandmother. sharing the same room with her. I am not gonna lie. I didn't enjoy it. at all. Still now,I am just waiting for her to leave, so I can start my life. I am waiting just because I can't stand up for myself. I can't tell her or any of my family about how sick I feel of all of this because they gonna laugh. They gonna make me feel worse of myself for wanting what I know would make me feel happy. I tried. Trust me, I tried. I am just...I can't take this no more.
What parents do is, they refer, they refer those who's much poorer than me, who doesn't even have a single bed. or clothes to wear, or starving for the want of food. They just refer. They don't understand what you're going through. They don't even try. They just want you to be thankful, to say that you're the luckiest girl on earth because you have both your legs, you have a home, you're in college, you have food and everything. They don't understand what you've been missing.If you say, you need your space, they would say it's so selfish of you to even having that kind of thought.What they don't understand is people starving in China isn't the same situation me having no room in the house. It doesn't change any fact that I'm upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.
I am sharing a room with my grandma. From the past six months. Half a year. You think that's a joke? It's not, trust me.Sharing your life with someone is really a huge deal. Especially when it's you who have to abide by the rules for the person you're with. I can't play music aloud in my own room when she's there.I can't go browsing, or log in to facebook because she peeks into the screen. I can't talk with my friends on phone in my own room because she's an eavesdropper, can't watch movies on the computer because she'd judge me for watching Hollywood. I can't tie my hair with my newly fresh hairbands because before I know it, it's on her ponytail with oil mashed up, that stinks so I may never get it back in my hair. She does the same with my combs.SO I have to rewash it before I could use it on my hair. I can't study there because she turns the lights off in afternoon while she's up for a beauty nap and before the clock strikes 10 at night.I can't dance in my underwear on my bed, with the music out loud because that would be very arrogant for her eyes. And she would tell me to put clothes on. Or she would just tell my mother I'm a spoiled child. For heaven's sake, I'm a teenager. And this is my home not hers. This is where I am supposed to feel comfortable. Why does she make me feel like I'm in a jail, no music, no movies, no random dancing. Why? I know she is old but why is she ruining my life? I can take this a month, half a year but no more please. If she's coming back in three or four months or less than a year again I am gonna die. I am gonna die so hard. I wish she never came back from America. And I wish she'd never come back this time. Never Ever.Save me off some misery. Please.
What parents do is, they refer, they refer those who's much poorer than me, who doesn't even have a single bed. or clothes to wear, or starving for the want of food. They just refer. They don't understand what you're going through. They don't even try. They just want you to be thankful, to say that you're the luckiest girl on earth because you have both your legs, you have a home, you're in college, you have food and everything. They don't understand what you've been missing.If you say, you need your space, they would say it's so selfish of you to even having that kind of thought.What they don't understand is people starving in China isn't the same situation me having no room in the house. It doesn't change any fact that I'm upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.
I am sharing a room with my grandma. From the past six months. Half a year. You think that's a joke? It's not, trust me.Sharing your life with someone is really a huge deal. Especially when it's you who have to abide by the rules for the person you're with. I can't play music aloud in my own room when she's there.I can't go browsing, or log in to facebook because she peeks into the screen. I can't talk with my friends on phone in my own room because she's an eavesdropper, can't watch movies on the computer because she'd judge me for watching Hollywood. I can't tie my hair with my newly fresh hairbands because before I know it, it's on her ponytail with oil mashed up, that stinks so I may never get it back in my hair. She does the same with my combs.SO I have to rewash it before I could use it on my hair. I can't study there because she turns the lights off in afternoon while she's up for a beauty nap and before the clock strikes 10 at night.I can't dance in my underwear on my bed, with the music out loud because that would be very arrogant for her eyes. And she would tell me to put clothes on. Or she would just tell my mother I'm a spoiled child. For heaven's sake, I'm a teenager. And this is my home not hers. This is where I am supposed to feel comfortable. Why does she make me feel like I'm in a jail, no music, no movies, no random dancing. Why? I know she is old but why is she ruining my life? I can take this a month, half a year but no more please. If she's coming back in three or four months or less than a year again I am gonna die. I am gonna die so hard. I wish she never came back from America. And I wish she'd never come back this time. Never Ever.Save me off some misery. Please.
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