my mom is aging.

All this time I thought, It was me who had an extra-special bond with Api. And that, it would me who’d suffer the most when she’d leave our house. I thought It would me who’d miss her to hell and back while she’s away. I thought I would be the one soaking pillows every night, dying just to see her face, her smile and just to have a girl talk. But I was partially ignoring the fact that, I wasn't the only person my sister opened up to. It was my mother, yes my crazy mother who'd scream at her 24/7, who'd drive her insane at times was someone my sister followed like a lost puppy. And I am proven 110 percent wrong because I am probably not the one suffering without her. But my mother, she is. I can't tell you how hard it has been for her Api leaving this house. She simply doesn't pass a single day without crying. without saying  a word about Api. And it's not the same with me. Because I'm not her favorite. Because I don't yell back while she's yelling at me, I don't make her tea, I don't run to her with shopping list, I don't do head massages, I don't make her go to shopping with me once,twice, thrice a week.And by her face I can tell she's depressed. She's aging. And my sister, I can bet whom she's missing the most right now. My mother. This two had a bond so strong, they're inseparable. They used to fight so tight but loved each other to the moon and back.I feel it, how desperate and sad my mom is,when she tries to dress me up like Api, and I can tell how lonely she feels by seeing her caressing Api's wedding photo hanging on the dining room wall,making calls to her everyday, crying every night before going to sleep. Certainly, I am not the one devastated here.But my mother, she is.