I know I've been kind of distracted lately. It shows on my words, doesn't it? I don't know what happened to me these days, I can't simply sit and put my feelings into words anymore. I'm lost for concentration and words. WORDS. I don't know what to say, but I have this need. This need to write things down even when I'm blank. I think I've made a habit outta this. Nothing happened. I just had to sit before the pc because I don't wanna go back to study. Studying these days. Makes me feel worse about myself. It only makes me feel like I am gonna suck in the board exam.And won't get any admissions. You know what I should do? Break things. Things that are jammed in my head. I should break those. Why am I so down all the time.? What is wrong with me? I wasn't like this before. Uh I was stupid but not this much stupid. Ugh there again. always down, always insulting myself in front of the world. You know what...I am gonna stop this. It's eating me. My brain. I should stop this and go. And study and do what I am left with. Because time's running. I should go. Yes. I am going right after I put this full-stop.
Hi B, I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...
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