I know I've been kind of distracted lately. It shows on my words, doesn't it? I don't know what happened to me these days, I can't simply sit and put my feelings into words anymore. I'm lost for concentration and words. WORDS. I don't know what to say, but I have this need. This need to write things down even when I'm blank. I think I've made a habit outta this. Nothing happened. I just had to sit before the pc because I don't wanna go back to study. Studying these days. Makes me feel worse about myself. It only makes me feel like I am gonna suck in the board exam.And won't get any admissions. You know what I should do? Break things. Things that are jammed in my head. I should break those. Why am I so down all the time.? What is wrong with me? I wasn't like this before. Uh I was stupid but not this much stupid. Ugh there again. always down, always insulting myself in front of the world. You know what...I am gonna stop this. It's eating me. My brain. I should stop this and go. And study and do what I am left with. Because time's running. I should go. Yes. I am going right after I put this full-stop.
Hi B, Season is changing. The hard days are almost over. The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty. Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming. Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me. Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life. It feels like I'm falling in love with the city. I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place. I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke. My new mantra for life now is to chill. Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city. Write poems. Paint, maybe. Seek positivity. Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
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