You know. I had this plan. That I would start fresh. I would work my ass off. I had this plan that I would redecorate my room. I already planned where to keep my guitar. I'd been awake at night, making plans. I am all about the plans. And that's what is wrong with me. I set up this high expectation, I dream before even getting it. I imagine stuffs, I see stuffs before thinking it thoroughly and practically, I let my mind wonder over it. You see, I am an enthusiast when it comes to planning. So it hurts. Just hurts when I want something so bad but don't happen to get it before my expectation dies.
Hi B, Season is changing. The hard days are almost over. The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty. Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming. Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me. Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life. It feels like I'm falling in love with the city. I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place. I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke. My new mantra for life now is to chill. Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city. Write poems. Paint, maybe. Seek positivity. Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
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