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You have no idea how freaky I am. Literally. I have a problem, I think I have. In my head. Or I am just born this way.

He and his friends always sit behind me and my friends everyday. So I would, almost everyday to class, perfume myself in the back. :D How desperate and stupid do I sound?
But today, he sat with my friends. Basically, we sat across each other. He was beside turtle dove(using those secret nicknames I gave my mates) and beside turtle dove was S&H, then me. I deliberately did that because, well...he is practically a stranger to me. I cannot just sit beside him and be completely okay. My heart will be pounding then and I would be sweating or stammering instead of flirting with him.

And that is the problem. I think for that very reason... I will never be able to make him my friend. I am at this point where if I could just hangout with him as a friend, I would be happy. I would stop fantasizing, I would get to know him. I didn't even get his name right until today. How stupid is that! And I am crushing all over him like a 14 year old. I stalked his fb profile today, the cover photo was good but...I don't know maybe that he's not photogenic or I haven't noticed him closely like that...He kind of has a creepy smile on pictures. This is crazy...because in reality I crushed on him first, seeing him smile...IDK some of the butterflies in my stomach just died seeing his profile. Most of the pictures were from previous year or 2013,12, or even 14 so I shouldn't judge him by those actually. But I am hoping that I get over him pretty quick. Because, well. there's another thought. I am having this feeling that he is interested in turtle dove. Idk. He sat beside her today, I checked his friend list, added her on facebook and talked to her first in my group. This two were talking most of the class...IDK. Should I be....I don't know him that well....Just a crush....but if they become something...like a couple...or just have a fling...I would prefer to die.





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