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These days I urge to be with someone. Someone who will give me stomach aching laughs and tears at the corner of my eye. Someone who will never make me feel lonely yet will isolate me from the world of chaos. Someone who will assure me that everything's gonna be okay when nothing is alright.  These days I urge to have a soul mate. I have always tried to ignore this fact since high school. Because it was easy to ignore. I wasn't in a coed, there were only room for studying and discussing celebrity crushes and tv shows. I was busy doing all that. College was so easy to survive. I had my gal pals and I had every reason to hate my life. But I didn't. It was still fun. Having a boyfriend was mythical, still is mythical but for some reasons currently I want to pull it back to reality.

It's not that I am not busy now. I am busier than ever. I have to be proactive now. Uni life is all I will get to build up a career. I cannot waste it having stupid mythical thoughts. I will be 20 this year. Not the time to behave like a teenager. My teenage years spent on compromising. I had compromised hangouts, dating, wearing skin tight clothes and every other thing that could have been some kind of adventure or recklessness. Now I feel like something is missing from my life. It's funny because I haven't done much studying to reason with this. I spent most of the time on internet doing meaningless blogging or instagramming.

It's just the fantasy, the lust to meet that particular person whom I am destined with. I hope wondering isn't a sin. Because I wonder a lot.








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