Skip to main content
Currently kind of overwhelmed by the varsity stuff. Had orientation just 3 days ago and I already feel this week being eventful.

I don't know I am kind of stressed already. It's been hectic. Like deciding the courses, I've taken only three when I had free choice to add or change. I mean I should have taken at least 4. I don't wanna relax on my first semester and not apply for a scholarship. I want to be eligible for the scholarship from very start. Now I have to go through another hectic day to change this.

I am already so dependent on my father for this admission things. I am already in need of guidance. I just don't understand why they have to make things so complicated for the students. Why can't they just simplify this admission procedure so we don't need to bring our parents into this. I really want to make this work but I haven't made any friends there, whom I can talk and work things out. So It's just me and my dad.

Tho I have made a friend. But he's from architecture. He is in my advising group so had to force a friendship with him. I actually found him amiable among other people in my group. He was funny, made me laugh and I have to say this, he's the first boy in the history I gave my phone number to. He asked for it. And I forgot to collect his. Not to sound conceited but I just don't think it was necessary. Our departments were different. I should get friendship with someone who can be of some help you know.

I already miss my college. It was simple. I didn't have to keep a sense of sanity to make friends there.I genuinely approached people, knowing that I didn't have to behave myself. Now here, I have to keep poised, there's too many teachers, students and seniors. All talk in English, which is out of necessity I understand but. Sometimes, I crave for a moment where I can be a little insane.Be clumsy, loud, fun, less intelligent and silent. Maybe I will find moments eventually, this is just the start. I have to accept where I am right now, I have to accept that this is the point I need to grow up. I can't hold on to childish things, I have to be my own person. This is a chance to change into a grownup and be an individual. Maybe things will work out eventually. No reason to freak out now. The day after tomorrow, classes will start and I will start as well working on my life to make a big improvement.

Wish me luck!










Comments

Popular posts from this blog

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...

world war?

 Dear B,  I don't watch the news but there has been a lot of speculations on social media of a possible world war III. My sister just texted me that I should save up money as we don't know what that might do to the economy. It is ironic because I just ordered something online last night. Every time I go out, I spend. I don't even have a good paying job and I spend like I have full time. However, one thing I learned from my past is that there is no point in stressing about the future. What I have control over is now. I can either live in the moment or ruin it by ruminating and what good will it bring to my life? Living alone can get boring. However, I am trying to find things to do. Maybe I will visit a bookstore today. Lets see.  I have rearranged the furnitures yesterday. Cleaned as well. The place looks good.  Maybe I will go IKEA. I love it there. Even though I can't afford furnitures, I just enjoy looking at them. Oh what to tell you B. My in-laws are coming this...

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

“If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life." "I look exactly the same." "No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all." "If you're so smart, how did I change today?" "You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer. And your breasts grew a fraction of a—" "They did not!" "Yes, they did." "Did NOT." "Did too." "What else, you big pig?" "You got a little happier and also a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel out each other, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also become a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which me...