okay this is got to be my 13th day and I am starting to feel guilty for not fasting. I don't know what's wrong with my body, my period just won't stop. Since last December, I'm irregularly bleeding for like 9, 10,11 to 15 days, one time I bled for a month.oh my god. Is it cancer? I really don't want cancer right now, my life barely even started. I mean, no way! I don't wanna die this soon! And please! I am getting sick of this. One min I am happy,then another I am sobbing and BAM! I am laughing again....I've never been so clueless.
The good news is, I am getting rid of insomnia. I don't have sleeping trouble at night like I used to because I kinda reversed the cycle, I now sleep only during the night and sometimes half of the morning in the weekends. I can say I am a recovering sleepaholic.
Although. I am in a chaos. My bed's always messy. My table, unable to locate pen and paper, my room looks like a bunch of crap. I am so in focus right now that- I am just completely out of focus...wait it doesn't make any sense. It does, actually in my head but...whatever. I don't know what I am doing.Honestly? I don't give a damn. And people. Oh my god. They are so talky. Like they have to have conversation.Like I am so interested to know what's going on with their lives. I don't give a damn about those people! When I wanted friends, I got amazing friends, stomach aching laughs and loving memories and now when I don't want any one in my life, They come to me and talk like they've known me for ages and suddenly it's rude to keep my mouth shut? I just miss my old buddies. They were nothing like those bitches, boy-crazy and gossip queens.
Ann is in the usa and Ankan, She has been preparing for IBA since college. And we have our separate ways. We don't go to the same coaching. She's studying like crazy, I can tell. I wish we both get into IBA. Wouldn't that be awesome? School, college, then Uni. Besties for life. I miss Ann. I haven't chatted with her a very long time. I wonder what she'd be doing these days. I should inbox her...She seemed really quiet last time when I checked. She said she wasn't doing so well, I asked why then I changed the subj because I felt like she didn't wanna talk about it. But now I feel I should have asked straight up. Something was clearly wrong. Maybe it's Mike again, maybe she had lost her virginity, she just won't tell. Then again I shouldn't get so nosy, after all it's her life, and hello, she's in America! Anything could happen there.
I have noticed something different with me. I don't feel content with my posts nowadays, in this blog, not that I ever. But something just doesn't feel right. I am not feeling creative with it and rather so uninspired. Such a mess I'd made. The only way to get everything in place, is to get everything in place.
The good news is, I am getting rid of insomnia. I don't have sleeping trouble at night like I used to because I kinda reversed the cycle, I now sleep only during the night and sometimes half of the morning in the weekends. I can say I am a recovering sleepaholic.
Although. I am in a chaos. My bed's always messy. My table, unable to locate pen and paper, my room looks like a bunch of crap. I am so in focus right now that- I am just completely out of focus...wait it doesn't make any sense. It does, actually in my head but...whatever. I don't know what I am doing.Honestly? I don't give a damn. And people. Oh my god. They are so talky. Like they have to have conversation.Like I am so interested to know what's going on with their lives. I don't give a damn about those people! When I wanted friends, I got amazing friends, stomach aching laughs and loving memories and now when I don't want any one in my life, They come to me and talk like they've known me for ages and suddenly it's rude to keep my mouth shut? I just miss my old buddies. They were nothing like those bitches, boy-crazy and gossip queens.
Ann is in the usa and Ankan, She has been preparing for IBA since college. And we have our separate ways. We don't go to the same coaching. She's studying like crazy, I can tell. I wish we both get into IBA. Wouldn't that be awesome? School, college, then Uni. Besties for life. I miss Ann. I haven't chatted with her a very long time. I wonder what she'd be doing these days. I should inbox her...She seemed really quiet last time when I checked. She said she wasn't doing so well, I asked why then I changed the subj because I felt like she didn't wanna talk about it. But now I feel I should have asked straight up. Something was clearly wrong. Maybe it's Mike again, maybe she had lost her virginity, she just won't tell. Then again I shouldn't get so nosy, after all it's her life, and hello, she's in America! Anything could happen there.
I have noticed something different with me. I don't feel content with my posts nowadays, in this blog, not that I ever. But something just doesn't feel right. I am not feeling creative with it and rather so uninspired. Such a mess I'd made. The only way to get everything in place, is to get everything in place.
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