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I have not cried since. I don't remember. I was doing fine I guess. I wasn't happy but I was fine. I laughed everyday at the class breaks because  Batman is just too funny. And turtle dove was also being nice with me I don't know for what reason, her attention shifted toward me a bit. Maybe because that Sumo hurt her a bit and she needed someone by her side. I was that someone. I kept believing that I wasn't broken, I was fine. Until today. When singer guy kind of  insulted me in front of everyone and all I could do was stare at him shocked and inside of me was cracking. Wrecking my heart.

He got mad at me for a silly reason. I am kind of ear sensitive. So what happened was, on the way to the restaurant, Batman shouted something on my ear and I screamed out because I got scared...And it startled everyone. So after we sat for our meal, I was making fun of Batman, I wasn't serious and suddenly singer guy snapped at me out of nowhere. He payed for my meal after, maybe as an apology I don't know. It didn't seem like he was sorry for being harsh to me. He knew exactly what he said.
That I don't know street etiquette...

I am sensitive to these things. When people point out what is wrong with me, I get super upset. And it wasn't even my fault. Why would he get so mad at me for that? Yeah I get it, he's having tough days but it hurt me a bit. I can never be that rude to someone. I can never make someone feel bad about themselves.

I didn't say anything to him, I came home and cried at the shower. I hate his superiority complex. I hate how he thinks, he has the right to say anything about a person's character upfront. That was just hurtful. What sucks is that, I love him. I care. If I didn't I wouldn't give a fuck about what he said.

I am just going to sleep now. Not feeling good. I forced the lunch.

It's funny how, yesterday I thought today's gonna go great. When you least expect something it always happens. I had a good day yesterday, so maybe I needed a balance.
It is just a bad day. I shouldn't let myself grief too much. I should let go. But the problem is. He is always on my mind. SO hard to escape him.









Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 23, 2016 at 5:15 AM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjklVx4V-ME
    -------------
    তোর বুঝি ভেঙে গেছে মাথা নাড়া বুড়ো
    ভেঙে গেছে পুতুল খেলার সংসার,
    সময়ে দেখবি সব জোড়া লেগে যাবে
    চুপ কর বোকা মেয়ে কাঁদিস না আর।

    সময় দেখবি সব ভুলায় ভুলিয়ে
    আনকোরা রংগুলো বুলিয়ে বুলিয়ে,
    মিলায় কাঁটার দাগ জোড়া লাগে ফাটা
    জটিলতা হয়ে যায় খুব সাদামাটা।

    তোর বুঝি উড়ে গেছে খাঁচা খোলা পাখি
    উড়ে গেছে আকাশের হৃদয় অপার,
    সময়ে দেখবি তুই নিজেই পালাবি
    চুপ কর বোকা মেয়ে কাঁদিস নে আর।

    সময় দেখবি সব খাঁচা খুলে দেয়
    তারগুলো কেটে দেয় অদৃশ্য ছুরি,
    ভাবনার পাখিগুলো বয়েসের ডালে
    বসে আর উড়ে যায় খেলে লুকোচুরি।
    -----------

    ReplyDelete

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