Everly

"oh no. This is a bad idea. We shouldn't walk here alone, this is literally a jungle." "What, you think someone might kidnap us?" she said. "Why are you giving out ideas?" "Let's just walk okay, we'll know if we're lost.And besides we have phones with us." "Ehm No network. Seriously, I think we're gonna get in some trouble." "Don't worry we're not gonna get raped." "Again, why are you giving out ideas? These walls around this houses are pretty thin you know.People can hear what we say." "Shush. Just enjoy the scenery." And I was shushed. We were walking through the middle of green fields and trees and mud houses. I realized what we miss here...we miss that amazing nowhere walks and trees and fresh air and the silence. Everything was eye pleasingly beautiful. the greens, the birds, the hens and the cows.  Have I told you about my village trip? Last month, I went there a...

This college destroyed my happiness. They don't care about me.  They are spoiled kids. I was so busy growing up, that I didn't realize what my brother was going through. He said, he was depressed for a very long time and he's not quite over yet. All blames to the college, the rich kids, our raising, all blames to the teachers and the stress of Cambridge. He didn't mention himself. He just whines about how sad his life is because of studying in that college. He says he doesn't fit in. All his frustration and feeling alienated from social life, reminded me of my old self, not so old tho, I still kind of inherit this quality, being shy in front of people. Being easily embarrassed and having mood swings.Trying hard to fit in somewhere. I spent 7 years in a school that I hated passionately because I felt I deserved better. Only did I complain, how was I stuck in such poor and lower class, unpopular school with kids who didn't match me, who I didn't want to...

You judged me wrong. I am not fake. I can fake it sometimes, just because I care. I care for people's feelings, and I wanna make sure I don't hurt any. "I am in touch with my feminine side." People can be so sensitive you know, not that I'm complaining. But they are trust me. Even the non--fragile ones, have fragile hearts. And sometimes all they need, is a little assurance, a little support, a compliment. SO I do it. I fake it if I have to, Problem? [A conversation with my ceiling fan.] #CrayCray

Awake all night! So here's the thing...I woke up at 5 pm, noon, slept the whole morning, and last night I couldn't get any sleep. Tonight I am getting no sleep and, not sleeping in the morning either to rewind the whole sleeping cycle. I've been having insomnia again for couple of weeks now, since my weekend started and been oversleeping like crazy in the day hour. So Better control it before I lose it.Today, I am getting NO sleep instead of 13 hours my usual sleep. Crazy. I am getting crazy, in fact, a few hours ago before the clock strike 4, in the morning, I got distracted looking at the ages old wall clock in my room, which is beautiful by the way. and didn't even realize I was looking at it that long. I wasn't checking out the time even, but the design and I was noticing how big it actually is. Anyway, excuse my psychotic behavior cause you're gonna have to learn a lot of it now. Everyone is sleeping in my house, peacefully but me. Not a single sound oth...

It's been raining since I don't remember. The sound of it, so peaceful and the thunders just make it heavenly than it already is. I feel just so blessed that unlike the people in the street, I have a roof and a home to keep me cozy. And it's so beautiful out there for me, because at my house, in my room, I only see the beauty of it. This is to me a blessing, that in the ugliest of ugliest possibilities, God has given me somewhat luxury. And I am genuinely thankful for that to Him. He just saved me off a lot of struggle and starving and hardship via genetic lottery. Though I sometimes wish to switch lives with Charlotte, the new born princess of Cambridge, then again who doesn't wish that! Every girl wants to be a princess. I know I do. Anyway, what I meant to say was, this isn't bad either. I love who and where I am, right here, right now.  I got this one life, and no matter how I spend it, where I spend it, the years I spend it with are what matters to me. That ...

Adorbs Ekta! Just so in love with him and his music. <3

Eid and birthdays. I miss how much I used to enjoy them. I miss how desperately I used to wait for such occasions every year round. New dress, gifts, family feast, these things used to enlighten me. Those were priceless joy. And now, one happy day is almost a miracle. How just...in couple of years I've become so much bored with all of this! But I was never bored. I was always up to something.  Now look at me.(sigh) I personally hate facebook because, it creates just a profile of the people I call my friends. And it just blanks all the phone and face to face conversations. And these days, people are sharing way too much. Needless stuffs. That's why I hate it, passionately.   Maybe tomorrow morning, after waking up, I'd feel better. I'd put on some lipstick and feel a little joy finding an occasion for a little make-up. And finally after taking random selfies with my cousins and little ones. I might be celebrating eid. And the food oh my god the best part of the day....

newest obsession : watching documentaries.

sick and tired of being sick and tired. When you're the only person in your house not fasting, you have to taste every item prepared for iftar, check and tell your mom based on just one bite,if it's bitter/sweet/too salty/too spicy/yummy/ick/not food worthy etc. etc. My mom should join the top chef. Those judges tell the truth. I barely get cooking. Anyway, since tasting food has become kind of a routine now, I've to worry about my baby fat no more, because now I have others to whine about- Turns out I have double chin! It shows up whenever I face down. I can tolerate fat on almost anywhere in my body(not so the belly fat) But fat on my chin!? I tend to bury it! It is way over my tolerance. Everything is falling apart. So I am fasting from today, no more food tasting, or anything that involves food. Seriously that's my diet. I should go sleep now. The sehri is done and everyone (That includes api and rhivu bhaiya-they stayed over tonight:) in the house sleepin...

How is it like, to be a girl with no imagination? Sleep.Eat.Watch Movies. Repeat. That's how it is.

okay this is got to be my 13th day and I am starting to feel guilty for not fasting. I don't know what's wrong with my body, my period just won't stop. Since last December, I'm irregularly bleeding for like 9, 10,11 to 15 days, one time I bled for a month.oh my god. Is it cancer? I really don't want cancer right now, my life barely even started. I mean, no way! I don't wanna die this soon! And please! I am getting sick of this. One min I am happy,then another I am sobbing and BAM! I am laughing again....I've never been so clueless. The good news is, I am getting rid of insomnia. I don't have sleeping trouble at night like I used to because I kinda reversed the cycle, I now sleep only during the night and sometimes half of the morning in the weekends. I can say I am a recovering sleepaholic. Although. I am in a chaos. My bed's always messy. My table, unable to locate pen and paper, my room looks like a bunch of crap. I am so in focus right now th...

I remember an advice someone once gave me(That someone wasn't me I assure)- "If you're not feeling it, don't study. Don't do it until you want to, and you might get more passionate about it after a pause. And you'll learn things quicker." I took this advice....Suck ittttt. Okay. Let me tell you how long I can go without studying- Pretty much every day. I never wanna study. NEVER! Anika paid a visit this afternoon. We had a girl talk. And she confessed that she had watched porn. She was like "Oh my god, I am not innocent ANYMORE!" I blew a raspberry. I was like No BIG DEAL okay. You're a teenager with smartphone and Wifi. Do you think I would buy that if you tell me your eyes are virgin? But I didn't concentrate on the issue-Because teenagers like to experiment and they get more interested on things that are taboo so I didn't pay much heed to her when she said she went on a porn site. Instead, I was honest with her. I told her I wa...

 So I've been reading this book, here's this part about Italians, how they enjoy doing nothing and Oh my god I can totally relate it. My actual goal in life is to achieve  so much that I will need not to do anything. Just relax and enjoy doing nothing-That's actually my ideal goal to every work.   Americans don’t really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype—the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.   I once asked Luca Spaghetti if Italians on vacation have that same problem. He laughed so hard he almost drove his motorbike into a fountain. “Oh, no!” he said. “We are the masters of bel far niente.” This is a sweet expression. Bel far niente means “the beauty of doing nothing.” Now listen—Italians have traditionally always been hard workers, especially those long-suffering laborers known as braccianti (so called because they had nothing but the brute strength of their arms—braccie—to help th...

I found a new habit-watching movies that worth a good sob. Actually haven't settled on it yet but it could turn into my habit. I like movies that are deeply emotional. And Romantic comedies. Whatever. 2 good movies in a row brought me to tears. Both had happy endings, I mostly cried at the intervals. Love,Rosie. Longest Ride. Weird how it both starts with the letter L.   I just thought, this could take my mind off for a while. Should I confess a weird thing about me? Since I was...a kid. Umm.. no let's start with...When I first got aware of my appearance, I used to look at the mirror...a lot. I used to look at my face most frequently, everyday. Since then mirror was my best friend.Whenever I felt insecure or bored I just used to sit close to my mother's dressing table and looking right into my reflection I used to make funny expressions or just sing, or dance or act like a superstar. It became my daily routine. My personal habit. Have I ever told you, How I liked seein...

I guess I'm just annoyed at everybody for living their perfectly planned lives and me on the other hand, clueless of my life and goals. How am I supposed to get a life this way? When I am constantly blaming people for moving forward, their goals, creating their future and for making things more challenging for me. Making me unclear of what I want. I wish seeing them could work as a motivation to me, but it's just all so depressing.I don't wanna prove anything to anyone, I just wanna get a life of my own. I just wanna get outta here. For some weird reasons, all I could think about is leaving this house. My family. I feel like, there's a whole new life out there where I have to end up. I feel this urge to leave this confinement and just completely spoil myself out there. Then I stop and listen to myself telling these things, these stupid little things, and I shake it off. Because I am not going anywhere. I am stuck in here. I am confined with my parent's dreams, I am...