confession# 91

I've got a bunch of complains today. And it all relates to not having a room of my own. I am sick and tired of compromising, sabotaging plans and of everyone for thinking I am a selfish bitch. I need a god damn space in the house. I am getting totally detached from studies because I can't concentrate by the situation I've been fallen under. And this is no excuse. I get easily distracted. At this point, I'd wholeheartedly support the American kids with the "Mom,Dad just give me some space." dialogue.But let's face it, we are Bangalis, if I tell my parents to back off, they'd be like- "You're my daughter.There can't be any space between us."

I thought when my sister would leave I'd get plenty of space and use it for good. Now look at me, I am pacing back and forth, to my brother's room to the living room the night before exam and Nanu alone, is pretty comforted with the room, I and api used to share. I seriously can't take this anymore, for how long she's gonna live here? I can't shift to my own room, how fair is that?You think I am selfish? She's the one who's taking advantage of everybody.She asked me why I don't study there, and I told her that it's the lighting problem just to avoid hurting her feelings. She should understand what I am going through.She knows how hard I am trying to concentrate, she sees it all and pretends to care, but in reality, she doesn't give a shit.I hate this kind of people.But I am in a hopeless situation, I can't be straight-forward here, she's my senior and being frank to her would look like an insult.I hate being at this position where I can't say things that bug me the whole time. No one understands. No one cares. They all think, this is a part of my study-bunking plan.But what they don't see is, all I am trying to do is to get myself drowned into study at which I'm failing, miserably.