Everly

I'm eighteen and I still cry like a baby. I can't stop crying and dreaming. I just can't. I cry until I get what I want. I cry because of insecurities. I cry because there's a pain in my heart. A pain, not understandable why. what do I want?  I want snow. I want to be happy again. I want to laugh. I want to breath. well not like normal in and out type of breathing. A long deep breath. An escape from the town, far far away, in the green,cold weather.I wanna breath till my lungs get all soared up. I want to sleep like a baby. Not just lying in bed thinking and regretting about the choices I've made in the past...a sound, profound, peaceful couple hours of sleep. a sleep that is unbreakable in the midway. so that I can wake up fresh,cleaned.like a new born baby. I don't know how it started.But it's not ending. All those stupid little things that causing this pain are not going away. I'm crying over little things. but trust me it hurts like crazy. I fe...

I'm gonna be 18 pretty much soon. well, the day after tomorrow. Yeah.  17 years of My life. Honestly, I've got no idea how I've been doing so far. Should I be more active and mature at this point, or get serious about life?. I don't know. Everything seems so normal. Been realizing that my life's all about sleeping,eating,eating and eating.ugh. Yesterday was my last class of the 1st year of my college. I don't know how and why( not so good at physics lol.) time passes so fast.It's been like a year I had done with my ssc and now steppin up to the 2nd year of college which is crazy. I literally freaked out yesterday.seriously? It's been a year? Soon I'll be out of the college,will be pushed into some uni and career and all that. Then what? I'll be actually living my life. I'll make my own money. how crazy is that! at this point everything seems so dumb. I'm a girl of seventeen soon to be eighteen and I've got no story. no mystery...

My friend.She's been a tease lately.And sometimes I feel  like  I don't know her anymore.What I knew about her was  she's a straight forward, Grumpy (it's in her blood),hyper,  shy(well not in front of friend's  crowd),Hollywood  freak,honest,fun but not a backstabber nor a bad influence. She's hanging out with me, all normal.But everyday after the college, when I get home, I somehow feel down and depressed observing her impressions toward me.May be because she doesn't know me yet.Unless she wouldn't do such things to hurt me or make me down. I don't feel happy- go- lucky hanging out with her anymore.I don't know why.She was such a good friend of mine.Now she's driving away and I'm letting her.May be it's for the best.I can't afford her to make me less of me. But the problem is that, I can't show off.I can't just avoid her and make her watch that.It's not me.And I have other friends too.So I can't just cut her ...

to be honest, I'm not a stereotype. But there are certain rules that I follow. I don't blend in that much. I don't have much confidence,sometimes I'm insecure, and words hit me than anything else.  I looooooove reading Marilyn Monroe quotes, I've not even watched any of her films yet,but her words inspire me like crazy. When I was a little girl, I always dreamed to live in a big house with my parents,barbie dolls, toys and wear all beautiful dresses and stuff like that.But as I was growing up, I realized that things aren't that easy.Society has it's way of shattering you and your dreams. I was never told I was pretty, whereas I saw other pretty girls treated fairly before me which was offensive.I was a girl too. I had feelings, I deserved to feel special.But everyone would judge you by your face,the clothes that you wear, and all that. Why am I so obsessed about this stupid judgements that society makes? Because I have a story behind it. It's p...

Amelie, An amazing female character from the french movie Amélie Poulain.(2001.) I'm just amused by her characteristics in the movie, how amazingly mysterious she was, and how she took pleasure out of the littlest things in life. A magnificent movie; built on a beautiful plot, with a simple yet magical scenes exquisitely wrapped underneath it.It's gonna warm your heart, leave you with an amazing feeling of wanting to better the world. A must watch movie, definitely worth of 5 stars rating. The movies starts with telling a story, a story of her father and her mother, how they seem so connected in their own specialties, what they like, what they dislike, meaning simple description of a person in a cute way. Then Amelie comes with her sweet introduction. " She's in the middle,yet she's outside"     Amélie likes "dipping her hand into sacks of grains, cracking crème brulèe with a teaspoon, and skipping stones at St. Martin's Cannel...

noun 1. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. "a fortunate stroke of serendipity" synonyms: chance , happy chance,  accident , happy accident,  fluke ;  God has a unique way to surprise us. A unique beautiful way. You know, the more i'm growing, i'm learning that; when you crave for something to happen and when it happens, you just can't get any happier. But when good things happen by chance, and surprise you like crazy, i think that's the awesome feeling you get. because it's beyond your expectations, it's shocking yet satisfactory. i don't know i guess i'd love to fall in this type of sweet accident. :')  “It's a bizarre but wonderful feeling, to arrive dead   center  of a target you didn't even know you were aiming for.”   ―  Lois McMaster Bujold so i would rather let the path guiding me to get a new path.  It's not that i'm completely r...

I got this feeling, you know, after watching Nicholas Sparks movies, it's like, "Omg I'm gonna die alone!"  So today, I watched "Dear John". Incredible. SO Romantic! Just loved the movie. I'm so freaking crushed on Channing Tatum,he's amazing! Made me depressed as well. Because girls like me ain't getting any guys like that, even in a lifetime. He's so freaking hot! God! why i always fall for celebs. They'll never be mine :( Oh i need a shoulder to cry on. Wish i could just cry on Tatum's sexy neck ;( Ahh like that's gonna happen ! :'( You know what! Waiting for your love of life-- that thing sucks! It's so hard, so unpredictable. I'm seventeen, girls on my age --uh i shouldn't say it all. but hey sometimes, i feel so insecure and depressed about being myself. I mean when i see those pretty girls, they get what they want, and they are always rewarded even when they screw up...sometimes i just can't f...