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Patience can be so much bitter!

I got this feeling, you know, after watching Nicholas Sparks movies, it's like, "Omg I'm gonna die alone!" 



 So today, I watched "Dear John". Incredible. SO Romantic! Just loved the movie.
I'm so freaking crushed on Channing Tatum,he's amazing! Made me depressed as well. Because girls like me ain't getting any guys like that, even in a lifetime. He's so freaking hot! God! why i always fall for celebs. They'll never be mine :( Oh i need a shoulder to cry on. Wish i could just cry on Tatum's sexy neck ;( Ahh like that's gonna happen ! :'(

You know what! Waiting for your love of life-- that thing sucks! It's so hard, so unpredictable. I'm seventeen, girls on my age --uh i shouldn't say it all. but hey sometimes, i feel so insecure and depressed about being myself. I mean when i see those pretty girls, they get what they want, and they are always rewarded even when they screw up...sometimes i just can't figure out my flaws.i mean i don't get along because i just be myself, and is always simple.that i will never change. But it just hurts, when i don't get what i deserve. I'd like to be treated like a princess. But hey! this is me!no one even notice me, like i'm invisible. What can i possibly do if i'm unpopular. i just crawl into Depressions by thinking all these stuffs at night. 

Sometimes, i feel like i should change. Change what should be changed. But it's the hard part. I'm so damn chained by my habits. I can't just change in one day. Ugh don't freaking know why i'm getting all these strange feelings. Teen age sucks man!
  
Actually this romanticism...is not kinda my thing. It's good to watch in movies, it makes me crummy, emotional, and whatever. but in real life, it sucks. True love? i didn't even feel what love actually is with someone special...true love is so far from me. And about attractions-ugh mostly on celebs. I wish i could just wake one morning and find myself as Tatum's wife, wow i would also get a daughter for free. That'd be awesome! oh okay i'm dreaming again! I wish Nicholas Sparks could write my love story and could get me a hot guy like Tatum! 

I don't want to stop dreaming. I feel like i should stop, but the reality kinda scares me, so. (sigh) Just waiting for ugh... i shouldn't. you know what? after watching Hollywood and all those hot celebs out there, my expectations, they got so higher that i don't feel any attractions among other people around me...this is bad right?! i should be on my limit. I just have to admit what i really am. I hope there is someone out there for me. Let's see. Surprise me God!  

 “There is never a time or place for true love. 

 It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a 

 single flashing, throbbing moment.” 


― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever 

 (gosh! something's wrong.I should probably stop watching romantic movies.yeah that'll do:P)

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