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need a change

 Dear B,

I don't know if this is how it feels to have a mid-life crisis. 

Some days I feel like taking drastic steps to change my life, i.e colour my hair or cut it super short or leave the job and aim for something better and some days I'm stuck to the normal boring routine of sleeping, eating, going work and repeat. 

I wonder when my life stopped being joyful or like full of things I once cared about. 

My life now consists of my husband and I. We are not having kids, at least for near future. Having a baby is like not even the last thing in our minds. So here we are; just the two of us. Don't get me wrong, I love waking beside him and I cherish our moments together but sometimes, I feel like my life needs more than just the two of us. Like a purpose maybe, something that will drive me to do better and make more money I guess...I love traveling with him to places. Once we have our financials on check, we can save some money to travel. I do need to get my passport from here. That will be easier. 

I know I'm not that old. I still have time to figure stuff out. I still have time to be better. I can't be comfortable with the life I have. I have to keep going and aiming for better things. I can't let life slip away just like that. 5 years from now, I want to thank myself for not giving up. I don't want any regrets. 


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