Skip to main content
Before the finals I get this urge to organize everything, which I think is a nervous behavior. I don't have OCD, I wish I had it sometimes tho. I am too lousy to get this kind of fancy disorder. But.
Tomorrow is my final and I am wasting my time in various tasks-like activity for example, I just finished organizing one-third of my drawer, designated it only for purse and bags, and I also am kind of craving to touch my closet, it would be too much tho, everything's there are in topsy-turvy,and I have too much clothes to fold. So I may pass on that. Tomorrow is my business course final. It is about formats of writing and structures used in corporate world, I feel memorizing them is needless. I don't think I may have a chance to get a job by not applying all these into practical terms. I don't see a point of this course being theoretical at all. It is communication for god's sake. It cannot be learned by answering descriptive questions. At least not by book and tips. You have to grow into it. But I am not natural by born. My communication skills suck.

Anyway I should review all those slides. Well there are theories tho that are not needless. Like how to write a report, you have to study to learn the format and stuff. So I guess I should be studying now. I slept all morning and evening. I think I have some very unhealthy habits. It can be because of the stress, depression, loneliness and there is one percent chance that I might have a brain tumor or something....Good thing I don't have headaches sleeping this much.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

spring is almost here

Hi B,  Season is changing. The hard days are almost over.  The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty.  Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming.  Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me.  Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life.  It feels like I'm falling in love with the city.  I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place.  I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke.  My new mantra for life now is to chill.  Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city.  Write poems.  Paint, maybe.  Seek positivity.  Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
 Some thoughts. Our old generation glorified selfless acts to the point that they started calling putting themselves first as: 'selfish.'  To a certain period of time, I have also followed this pattern.  I thought taking care of me is selfish.  Where taking care of me is fundamental.  You cannot pour out of a cup, which is empty.  So pour yourself first.   I have to unlearn so many of these toxic patterns because these have made my life only miserable and problematic. I am learning that evolving is crucial for living with inner peace.  These days, I value so much about inner peace.  I'll choose it over others anytime, and it is not selfish. It is in fact for greater good.

long distance again

 I came back from my trip. It was amazing 2 weeks of my life. Seeing him again after so long felt strange yet peaceful. I finally got to be in his arms again. 2 weeks flew by and now I am back home and back to work and normal hustle and bustle of life.  He got an extension offer and decided to stay for another 3 months. It is sad because he was supposed to be back next month. He asked me if he should take it and despite having my heart aching I supported him in the decision. It is not confirmed yet but he probably be staying another 3. Another 5 months of long distance. How am I going to survive the winter by myself? I don't know. Honestly, in my heart, I don't care about how much compensation he be getting. I miss him so much and this long distance thing is killing me inside. Today is Friday night and instead of cuddles and movie, I am home alone. No plans to look forward. No one to talk to. I am the loneliest girl on earth right now. He is probably sleeping and not picking u...