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Today was something extra-ordinary. I am glad that residential semester happened because it brought me friends, people who make me feel like I belong somewhere, people who give me perspective. I love that this year, we had this amazing hangout, we got to enjoy ourselves, despite some of us are going through personal problems, heartbreaks, financial crisis or any kind of crisis. We were there, the music was louder than our problems, the screaming and shouts, everything felt like this is how it should be.

And I realized how much I love Singer Guy. We don't belong but I love him, he doesn't love me but I do. And it doesn't ache me anymore. I accepted that the universe won't let us be, I accepted that he will love any girl but me. Even that he is not the one. But I love him anyway. It isn't a waste. It is just in the moment. Time will save me. But right now, I know. I love him. And he likes me a little bit. As a friend of course. And it is enough.

And on the second note, my brother is developing mental problems. His syndromes tell me, he is schizophrenic. Last night my mother found him sitting on the wardrobe searching for hidden cameras. He thinks, some people spies him around the house. He hears noises. He hears whispers and things. I don't know what to do. But I am not going to deal with this right now. I can't. Today went well. I let myself forget the fact that, my brother is mentally sick. I let myself believe that everything will be okay.


He will be okay.
He will be okay.
He will be okay.
He has to be okay.
He will be okay.

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