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Dear Blog.

I don't know how I feel anymore. Toward everything. The only thing I know now is nothing is alright with my brother. He's not him anymore. Yesterday, he unplugged the light bulb in my room, saying there's spy device in them. I forced him to watch a movie with me. He still thinks, someone is targeting him. I just want my brother to be okay again. That's all.

My life went to Bermuda Triangle for a while. I don't feel like studying. I don't feel like being home. My mind is a mess. I am trying to keep myself happy. Keep myself from thinking bad stuffs. But trust me. I never imagined myself, or my family, being in this position. I have never imagined, my twin brother will turn into a maniac. Will have to take prescribed drugs and get frightened of being spied on. I have never imagined myself. How long am I gonna be able to take care of him? What if I get busy with my life again and completely ignore him? And he ends up. He ends up...I cannot even imagine what will happen to him in sheer future. I just wanted a normal life for my brother. I wanted my brother to be able to take responsibilities.  I wanted my brother to take care after us. But I don't know if I am strong enough. It is gonna affect his career, his job life, his personal life everything. I am scared. I am fucking scared of this shit. I just want him to live healthy. I want him a prosperous life like any sister would for her brother. I just.

It sucks how I am tensed, yet I am unable to put myself into action. I am not a good sister. A good daughter. If I were, I would study. Concentrate on building up a future for our family. Cause who knows what's written for us. Who knows, what will happen. Who knows. Maybe it is just the start. Maybe there's more dangers coming. Maybe it is time, I have to get myself ready. Toughen up. Because I have nobody to lean on now. My twin is suffering from mental problems. I have to be the wall he will lean on. I have to be strong.










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