You know what my problem is? I am too attached. I am too attached to my family which is not a bad thing but it can be fearful sometimes. Because you lose what you cling to. I am so afraid of losing them, I can't imagine my world without them. And though I should. I should think more practically. That someday, I'd be left alone, or I just could die tomorrow. What I have is now. And I can't depend on somebody or some stuff. I shouldn't get attached with objects- my smart phone for instance. Yeah and I still miss my ipod shuffle. Whatever, the point is, I shouldn't. I should just accept the fact that, I have to be on my own, I have to write my future myself, others can help but they're not gonna be here with me all the time. So what I have is Now. Whatever I am planning to do, I should do it now. There's no getting ready for it. You can't always be ready. Things don't just happen to you, You happen to them.
Hi B, I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...
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