Skip to main content

confession #93

SO this year started off without my sister and I was pretty much over the fact until we encountered the last time, when she hugged me so tight and kissed both my cheeks and almost the corner of my lips. I was like..."Look at us. We've almost lip-kissed." And the work there was done, I got to see her precious smile, a smile which I had been craving for weeks. It made me realize, how much I missed her all these days.  You know this isn't how I planned 2015 would go.
Mama took us for a family trip the other day. A trip without Api. Does it sound any fun? All I could think about in the car was the last year's trip we had with api and I couldn't hold my tears falling down my cheeks.I don't think I'd ever have fun without her being with me every where I go. She was the one, the only one who understood every little piece of me.The one whose sweet interruption while taking selfies never bothered me a bit. I thought today, we'd get to meet, because Mama was supposed to take us all to dinner. But now it got cancelled because of the strike. I don't know when I'd be seeing her again. So this is how my new year's going.

Yesterday, Mama encouraged me to giving SAT and he showed me couple of college reviews and requirements on web. He asked me if I do any extra-curricular activities, I gave him a straight NO. But he really tried to give me courage and said if I had any hobbies or so, it could help getting scholarship. I said I do blog sometimes.And he asked me what I write about. I don't know why, but my mind went all blank. I could've said, I don't write on any particular subject, I write my innermost feelings, and it's kind of pointless to refer it to an extra-curricular activity. He told me to try for the colleges in Seattle. So nice of him to think that I could pull it off.
Right now, my goal is to take care of HSC. Because those shitty marks on practice tests ain't gonna get me an A+. Apparently,studying abroad is just a daydream of mine. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...

world war?

 Dear B,  I don't watch the news but there has been a lot of speculations on social media of a possible world war III. My sister just texted me that I should save up money as we don't know what that might do to the economy. It is ironic because I just ordered something online last night. Every time I go out, I spend. I don't even have a good paying job and I spend like I have full time. However, one thing I learned from my past is that there is no point in stressing about the future. What I have control over is now. I can either live in the moment or ruin it by ruminating and what good will it bring to my life? Living alone can get boring. However, I am trying to find things to do. Maybe I will visit a bookstore today. Lets see.  I have rearranged the furnitures yesterday. Cleaned as well. The place looks good.  Maybe I will go IKEA. I love it there. Even though I can't afford furnitures, I just enjoy looking at them. Oh what to tell you B. My in-laws are coming this...

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

“If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life." "I look exactly the same." "No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all." "If you're so smart, how did I change today?" "You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer. And your breasts grew a fraction of a—" "They did not!" "Yes, they did." "Did NOT." "Did too." "What else, you big pig?" "You got a little happier and also a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel out each other, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also become a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which me...