spring is almost here

Confession#34

He’s being indifferent to me these days. I am too. I don’t do all HEY Y U NO LOOK AT ME stuffs. He doesn’t talk to me now. Honestly, I don’t even remember anymore when was the last time he’d actually spoken to me. I was fine, trust me. I was profoundly fine just seeing him all happy and healthy at college. But the thought that disturbed my peace was- he’s gonna forget me in a year when I’ll be out to some Uni. He’s gonna forget my face. Also my name. Whereas me,  I’ll always remember him; his perfectly jawed face, his eyes, hands, his humors, those funny moments I’d spent with him. Because I love him. But he’ll surely forget me when I’d be his ex-student. I wouldn’t exist to him then. It hurts me like crazy just even thinking that.

I’m not fine. Trust me I’m far away from fine, I’m at my worst nightmare.  

P.S : I’ve got some photos of him in the college Mag. So in case I forget how he looks like I’d just look at those photos. He cannot be replaced. And he won’t. He’d be in my memories, in my sweetest dreams.

 Confession#35

Today at off-class hour.

We sat in our college field, on outgrown grass and gossiped so interestingly about Animal sex. What?! It was educational. I never knew how animals do it until today. Shabnam said that she watched those on discovery. She told us how snakes, chimpajins , ray fish, sea-gulls and other many categories do it. She thinks anaconda’s one is the most spectacular to watch.

Her mother kind of doubts on her watching Discovery channel most of the time as she told us.

SHABNAM : “She heard from someone in the private maybe, about this shows. That discovery channels show animal porn, and whenever she sees me watching TV she’s like…WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ON THIS STUPID CHANNEL? (AMI BUJHI TO, TUI KISHOB DEKHOS!) …and I be like Ma it’s just animal sex, what about it? You’re acting like I’m watching some human porn’s or something.”