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I am starving myself because I am too lazy to get up, go and have something to chew on. And I don't know these days, I am happier when I don't eat anything, or eat simple foods that require less chewing and digesting. I am not on a diet, I am just too lazy to eat. I am fatigued. And nowadays I am just not fond of having square meal a day...And my mom is yelling at me to fetch me to dinner ...god she's loud... I better get this ass moving.

I am back and my stomach is full. Oh look at that glass of milk I just finished in one gulp. Didn't realize how hungry I was. Anyway. So I  started reading Eat,Pray,Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. And I gotta say, this book is a page turner. It's 1am and I am sleepy and I can't sleep without reading at least one more chapter of it. It's soul food. Italy,India, Bali-..This woman had made traveling a part of her salvation, happiness and divinity. I remember watching the movie long time ago with Api, but tell you what, the book shows much more than the movie ever has. I wish I could just leave this house and travel.
So I found this same to what I feel and I am in awe of how she described it. I mean this is exactly how I feel. 

 “Sometimes I feel like I understand
the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and
fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don’t want to be a monk, or totally give up
worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God.” 

Ketut (ninth-generation Balinese medicine man) said he could answer my question with a picture. He showed me a sketch he’d
drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands
clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have
been, there was only a wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face
drawn over the heart.
“To find the balance you want,” Ketut spoke through his translator, “this is what you must
become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it’s like you have four
legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the
world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know
God.”


 

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