Everly

I started this blog on June,2013. Today while glancing through the previous posts it just occurred to me to give those things a flash back. A philosopher I was. And an optimist. Actually, reading those few posts made me realize how I've changed and grown since.SO I think it's worth a new post on 31st December and in the last hour of 2014. " Every time it's like i'm changing bit by bit, knowing myself differently, and it's surprising how one person may not know what they're capable of, until they finally go ahead,feel it. " ... It's not that i'm completely relying on luck and whatsoever, but sometimes i guess mistakes can be really sweet and beneficial. i mean you'll never know, what is really going out there. you'll never know if you're assure of what you really want.In crisis, you may feel what you don't have. Again, being surrounded by all the craved thingies you wanted in your life, you may feel something is really mis...

The woman who works here had sort of an emotional breakdown today.Her husband threatened to leave her and she panicked.Oh my god, if you could see the scene! She thumped her head on the door, repeatedly, crying, sobbing ugh and what not. SO much drama. And It didn't just end there. A moment later, when I was sitting on my table, studying, she came to me and stuttered some thing in her native language.I didn't get any of it so I just nodded in response.Piece of advice- "Don't ever nod not knowing what you've been asked for." Okay, then a shocking and awkward thing happened, she just hugged me out of the blue.And there's more. She sobbed onto my shoulder. Not just sobbed, took long-deep breathes. So that's what she asked me before... eww. I got super awkward. I sighed a big relief when she got off my neck,wetting my hair with her tears,nose-water(EWWWW!) and changed into a fresh sweater, washed off my face, cleaned my hands with hand-wash.  And tomorrow...

I've got a bunch of complains today. And it all relates to not having a room of my own. I am sick and tired of compromising, sabotaging plans and of everyone for thinking I am a selfish bitch. I need a god damn space in the house. I am getting totally detached from studies because I can't concentrate by the situation I've been fallen under. And this is no excuse. I get easily distracted. At this point, I'd wholeheartedly support the American kids with the "Mom,Dad just give me some space." dialogue.But let's face it, we are Bangalis, if I tell my parents to back off, they'd be like- "You're my daughter.There can't be any space between us." I thought when my sister would leave I'd get plenty of space and use it for good. Now look at me, I am pacing back and forth, to my brother's room to the living room the night before exam and Nanu alone, is pretty comforted with the room, I and api used to share. I seriously can't tak...

Facts about me. I have a habit of skipping breakfast for sleep. I can sleep 18 hours at a stretch.  How I skip working: for example, when my father asks me to fetch something or do some work I just play dumb. I pretend I didn't hear/understand any of the things he just asked me to do. Working hard or hardly working? Hardly working. Bed is my favorite place to be. Not highly optimistic. I believe sometimes it is practical to think-bad things can happen. I love tea.Desserts.Hugs.Listening music with my headphones in the car and singing alone.I love drama. I hate fish and veggies.Or anything that my mom thinks is nutritious.I like spicy food. I can't stand crowd.Noisy eaters. Back-stabbers. Bullying.Bad eyebrows, control-freaks. I like my privacy.  I get delighted by hand-written letters.  I'm a gadget freak. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual, I believe in Karma. I like guys older my age.Explains why I am always crushing on seniors. A great sense of hum...

I organized my closet today. I actually did! *a round of applause* And I stepped outside the house and after like ages, I took a walk along the road in winter breeze and morning sun. My knees were literally shaking, it's getting that cold. Anyways, so I attended an exam at that hour,a practice test for HSC. And met McDreamy there. Nowadays, I've been feeling numb about him. Sometimes I even get into laughing,thinking that how silly I was to be fallen for him...He's in no way looks astonishing, charming or anything attractive. He just looks like my subject teacher and now that I'm leaving college I won't be seeing him again. Fortunately enough I have forgotten all the feelings he used to cause. Time for a change baby.Let's not call him McDreamy anymore. I have realized my foolishness. So my sister is off to her honeymoon to cox's bazaar. She cried on the phone today.I switched her to Ammu because I was too busy stuffing clothes to my closet.Selfish sister?...

This is it. My sister has officially gone to her in-law's. We're gonna grow apart. But seeing her smiling today, I was relieved. Relieved that she's doing way better than I thought she would.And at this point I just want her to be happy and healthy. No I didn't cry today like I did all these days. Tell you what, It's been a nightmare without her. Everything in the house reminded me of her.I haven't gone out since her farewell so it's been really hard on me. We don't do calls or skype. Everyone there was like "You can call her when you miss her." But this is not the relationship we had. We're sisters, we talked face to face, we cuddled in our sleep, we laughed mindlessly,shared secrets,sometimes we fought over serious issues and bonded over silly stuffs. That's how we always were.That's how we communicated and always will. My life at this point is kind of like it's been through a storm and now it's recovering. And the mo...