I am not sure how my HSC exams will go. I mean, clearly, without a preparation I can't tell how badly I am gonna suck. My family and outside my family, teachers, family but not so in touch people are looking forward to my results, you know it's a huge deal. If I mess up this, I am not gonna just mess up my life, I'm gonna mess up their expectations. No matter how bad I suck being a student I have to bring out the best I could possibly be. They won't see the efforts I put in, they'd wanna see just the results. So it doesn't really matter how badly I suck now, or if I get triple zeros on pretests. Or if I have not yet conquered my syllabus. So yeah, I'm..I'm not freaking out. I haven't studied anything, but I will not Freak out. I will not freak out. I will not...oh my god I'm freaking out. I don't even practiced those maths, I suck at finance, Accounting and all my subjects, I don't have anything ready . I am not ready to attend the boards . I have only 15 days. Oh god.Oh god. Oh god.
Hi B, I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...
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