I did my prayer (namaz)
today. I felt like I was trying to connect someone on the other side who might
or might not exist. I mean in my heart at some point, I feel obligated to
believe that he exists but … I just can’t face him, for I’ve done such wrong
things, I’m a sinner. Every day. I’m a sinner. I feel like even how much I pray
and bow my head to him, He’s gonna look at me as someone to be punished. Maybe
it’s not lack of believing, it’s just fear that keeps me away from Him.
Hi B, Season is changing. The hard days are almost over. The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty. Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming. Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me. Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life. It feels like I'm falling in love with the city. I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place. I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke. My new mantra for life now is to chill. Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city. Write poems. Paint, maybe. Seek positivity. Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
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