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him

I'm afraid this post is gonna be entirely about him. And I know it since last night. When I couldn't sleep thinking, that was the last class he took of us. And even I talk frequently enough of him in this blog, I don't think it's ever enough...to sum him up. Nothing I write will ever be enough.

He will always be my favorite teacher. I know at times, I didn't pay attention to his class but it doesn't change the fact how amazing he is. You must be wondering why I'm using pronouns, why haven't I mentioned his name ever when I am crushing in all sort of way on him. I don't say his name because that's how respective I am of him. You see, I never picture him as my boyfriend or a life-partner, I just picture him as he is. He is someone whom I developed a sophisticated fondness in. And I will never get over it.

It's like he's on a stage or something, doing a play. And I'm watching him. Falling in love with every line, every detail. Like an audience, I don't give away much. He's in the spotlight. And there's only adjectives of him. He doesn't know how awesome he is. He doesn't know how kind, sophisticated, intelligent, honest, truthful and humorous he is. That's what makes him so special. He knows how to make women laugh, without being rude, Without hurting feelings. And that's what I search in all men. He makes me smile, a smile that I can't wipe off the day and when I am thinking about him. He's an Aries. Like me.

Yesterday, at the last class, a girl in our group cried on his shoulder. When I saw it, I kind of judged myself. If I wanted that. If I actually wanted to soak that side of his shirt with tears. No! Hell no. Even my inner slut doesn't permit that. I like him but there's got to be boundaries. You can't just cry on his shoulder like that. I get that she was emotional and couldn't control but this is beyond inappropriate. To hug him like that and sob in his shirt. That was the moment I realized. I actually didn't love him the way I thought I had loved him.

And it's time to move on. He's done what he's supposed to. Be a good teacher. He's been excellent at it. I actually feel jealous of those freshmen. They're gonna have him for another year. I remember this quote Ankan wrote in my diary- "You don't need a lifetime to love somebody. Love is a moment that lasts forever."  Exactly. A moment unforgettable. So it doesn't matter if I'm not seeing him anymore after hsc.

I never imagined I would come across people like this. It was a privilege being his student. And I am glad I'm leaving as one.










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