Everly

I don't have any idea how I'd manage without seeing him once in a while. fuck. he is perfect! Eventually soul mates meet for they have the same hiding place. Call me crazy. But I feel a connection with him. There is definitely something. Though it's something that only concerns me.We never really had a decent talk. It's on me. Whenever he speaks to me I get awkwardly shy. He's like gravity. The essence of him being anywhere near me feels like having a gravitational pull. Not quite sure if it makes any sense tho, I only meant to make it sound vivid. .Science is not my thing ya know.

I screwed up. I don't know what's waiting for me out there but I surely did screw up my future.Today's Accounting exam was crap and I have ICT and Management to worry about too. So that makes it what, three? F marks on three tests? How are they gonna let me register for HSC? I have made such a mess.And I have almost given up. All I want is another chance. But I think I am out of second chances too.There is no way I could pass through this. The thing is, I go completely insane when I'm on pressure. Syllabus,. tests, admissions these go completely out of my favor. I screw up  when I am pressurized. And I am not a hard-worker. Even when I have hard plans, I fail to accomplish them through my work. That's how I am.I always struggle in the last minute. And this is Bangladesh. If I fail, my whole life would sink into a never-ending despair.I can't drop college just like that.And here,I can't do justice to any kind of  passions I have it in  me.I can't just d...

I am quite over the thing now. Although it lingered on my head the whole day. The more I think of it the more it pains me, so I decided not to go there. I am gonna pretend nothing really happened like everybody else in the family.I don't have to make a fuss out of it. Right now I am gonna focus on my studies. I have to pass every subject.I am okay now. Maybe it was the exam pressure that got me more depressed yesterday. I just had to sleep on it. So.Today at college, they served us the wrong question paper. They mistakenly gave us the first paper question which we were about to be giving exam on December. How awesome is that?! The teachers told us to give the papers back but we were reading the shit out of it. At that time I wished I had a photographic memory. Then I could take a snap and store it for the coming exam and score! The girl behind me was like - "Put it on your pocket!I won't tell anyone!" Ah well we didn't have to. Mcdreamy got furious. He sent us ...

Nanu isn't home and I've pretty much got the room to myself. Bliss. Ann emailed me last night. Seemed like she'd been through hell and back. She has a therapist in school now. I like how they've got all the counseling arrangements in schools. I have an exam tomorrow. I had two day's study gap which I mostly wasted on sleeping, eating and watching Good Luck Charlie episodes online.I ended up watching a whole season yesterday. So I pretty much have just 18 hours to prep for the exam now which is cool. I never happen to finish the whole syllabus anyway.Figures. This is bad. This is really bad. I should be studying. I should be panicking I don't know for-, I have barely touched the book I am giving exam on tomorrow.Why am I always indifferent to these things? This exam is really important. OKay, I am gonna go. Right after I finish this post. Yeah. You have my word. You know what they say- Don't read beauty magazines, it will make you feel ugly.So true! L...

So it was the after-exam, stress relieving talk with friends. I was looking forward to see that one particular face, which I haven't seen in weeks. And like a blessing he came down the hallway as I was wearing a face-splitting grin while listening to the chit-chats of those girls beside me. I pretended not to look at him until he passed by my side and said-"Why does everyone look so happy today?! Did the exam turn out well?" I flushed. He was heading out; in the meantime a bunch of stupid attention-seekers circled around and asked him to open their packet of chips.Ugh.I mean seriously? Aren't they a bit old to ask someone to open their food beverages? Can't they just do it by themselves? I couldn't settle my eyes on him anymore,there he was...cracking jokes with his fellow students. And before I know it,he was gone off the gate. Then I realized how much I missed him the whole week.:( P.S: The reason behind this dramatic lines and listening to crummy music...

There's nothing more painful than giving exams. And obviously, the last-moment preparations for it. When you can't help but study because you had learned nothing but sleeping with eyes wide open through the whole semester.I am no mood for studying, but doing it anyway. Ugh. My life right now,is a complete mess. And I don't know why I am being such an ass. I have so much to take care of. The dream to get into a public university won't just come true on its own you know.Honestly, I am not even that much sure of the board exam that's coming up. I could screw it, big time! My preparation ain't gonna get me an A+. So. Admission into some good university isn't something I should emphasize on right now. Because the big scary thing is already on my way to make it or break it for me. I slept the whole morning.Woke up at 12 pm and had lunch. Then slept again for couple of hours. Woke up, bathed, had tea and freaked out at the huge syllabus for exam tomorrow. I to...