Skip to main content

 I have been binging on true crime stories these days. I always had a thing for it, like I would legit watch documentaries, see graphic images even though it sickened me to the core. Just knowing how the killings took place, and the detectives figuring all out, the suspense, the flipping discoveries, everything just kind of fascinates me. I do feel bad about the families who go through such trauma of losing their dear ones like that abnormal way, but the stories compel me with lot of emotions and shock and I get consumed in it. 


Today I was thinking that, I should put myself in a routine again. My sleeping cycle has been fucked. I was thinking that maybe I should start working out, like just basics to keep myself active. I oversleep nowadays and feel drown out...I also want to re-watch Dexter again. This was one of my most favorite tv show, I was in my late teens when I started watching it on TV, it was pretty graphic, and I didn't have a laptop so when I downloaded it, I had to watch it on family computer and back then I didn't have my privacy. Now I can actually watch it without hesitation.


I've felt really lonely last night. And started stalking him again. I have to get out of this habit of stalking people from my past. It is such a waste of time. Hence the decision of incorporating self-desciplin.


I finished a book on meditation, It was titled- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. It was good, I learned some spiritual wisdom. Though I am not gonna review it here. It was vast. And I kind of read it in an inconsistent way, so I don't remember much of its content. I highlighted some parts though.


I need another book. Let's see...


Right now I am not thinking too much about the future. And trying to live in the present and be grateful. 







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

 Some thoughts. Our old generation glorified selfless acts to the point that they started calling putting themselves first as: 'selfish.'  To a certain period of time, I have also followed this pattern.  I thought taking care of me is selfish.  Where taking care of me is fundamental.  You cannot pour out of a cup, which is empty.  So pour yourself first.   I have to unlearn so many of these toxic patterns because these have made my life only miserable and problematic. I am learning that evolving is crucial for living with inner peace.  These days, I value so much about inner peace.  I'll choose it over others anytime, and it is not selfish. It is in fact for greater good.

An origin story

Dear Blog. Thank you for giving me space to write. Although in this world, where cloud technology prevails, there is no worrying about it. But hey,I, thank you for storing my thoughts. Stupid, meaningless thoughts. I assure you, I will keep coming back. I know since coming home from the residential semester, I've been a bit distracted. I've been posting things, I felt vague about. I used to write things effortlessly. I never forced myself to type up things, experiences or events. All these posts have been posted because they contributed to my daily life and I had to write them up before they slowly fade away from my memory. And some things I didn't make a post about as some things were better to be forgotten and removed from the past. Mind that. Dear Blog, I created you almost four years ago. These four years, I've kept you posted. Maybe some days. I didn't because you know why. Those days I felt blue and couldn't get up from bed. But you learned my stor...

spring is almost here

Hi B,  Season is changing. The hard days are almost over.  The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty.  Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming.  Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me.  Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life.  It feels like I'm falling in love with the city.  I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place.  I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke.  My new mantra for life now is to chill.  Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city.  Write poems.  Paint, maybe.  Seek positivity.  Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.