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when it is true love, which- is a controversial subject- they said, when it is actually love, the person would have the same wavelength as you. Meaning, you both would reach the same frequency. And it would be easy. You wouldn't feel like you have to work on yourself. You will be accepted as you are.

Is it actually that easy? To find someone like that? And my question is, does it sustain? Do men sustain? I am so conflicted about this.

I am still searching for that person. I want to feel happy, I really do. I don't want to wait for a guy to call me, I don't want a guy who doesn't remember to check in on me, or even care a bit. And make this false promises that he would. I am tired of this, B. I am tired putting myself out there and getting hurt again.

It is like- I have all this love to give but nobody's there to want it. How do I miss someone who doesn't miss me as much or maybe has forgotten me. How do I remember all the microscopic details about someone who probably holds me no significance in his life, How do I remember someone every day, each day, and he doesn't even, he probably doesn't, he probably just doesn't.

How do I get over this? How did I fall back again. Why do I expect again, hope again! How do I hurt myself, by myself? How do I make the same mistake, over and over, and it has been 6 months almost...Half a year, and I am still stuck where I was.

I am closer to my period. Pardon my emotions for now. I am okay, just sometimes not okay. Sometimes, I am crying. And I am trying not to. 

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