spring is almost here

Day- I just don't wanna count anymore.

Is this an endemic? How long? 

I never imagined this would be my state of worrying, I never imagined, this would be a problem, a traumatic event, that will shape our lifestyle and everything connected to our daily activities. Can you believe, you can't even hug when you need it so badly, you can't even touch the other person, when that could be the only thing you need for mental strength, a shoulder to cry on to when you're sick, when you're having trouble to breathe, when you don't know you can make it. Where is the sense of healing, when you have to isolate yourself completely and take care of yourself, practically, without getting others infected in the process, though you need mental support. This pandemic is a trauma for each and everyone in this world, because we still don't know how to prevent it completely, this micro organism against our body, we cannot, even though as many safety measures we take, see it, with our bare eyes, we wouldn't know where it, when it is entering our body. I wish it could be seen, or like light up, that would have been so easy to avoid it. What is so frustrating, is the uncertainty. What is so scary is losing people who are closest to you, in a bare of a 14 days and what is terrifying and utterly horrific is seeing them suffer. My heart goes out to all of the people, surviving it, all the people who lost their loved ones, all the people who died, all the people who got infected while serving patients, all the people who died serving, all the people who died because lack of treatment and lack of timing of treatment, and lack of utility and all the people who are confused, paranoid and constantly facing a pressure to survive, financially and mentally, I mean it's beyond any struggle this world has ever come across, this is something unconventionally new and challenging in every aspect of our lives and I just want a break, I just want to shut down for a while and not think about anymore for a while, cause this is still not ending, this is prevalent, and this is happening and I don't know for how long...