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I had to confront myself and this is my confrontation.
I am gonna move on from him. It is gonna be difficult but it is the best decision. He is a con-artist and he loves making girls feel special. And then crush their hearts because he likes the thrill. But karma is definitely a bitch because the girl(one of my friends who's really really hot) he truly likes and adores has been unavailable. (she has a boyfriend). I observed and calculated, she is never going to fall for him. Why? Because she is fierce and confident and self-sufficient. Only the silly, insecure women can fall for his sweet talk. I realized, no matter, how I change myself, the conclusion would be the same. He will only notice me on my good looking days. And talk with me in a sweet flirty tone, acting as if, friends do that.

I haven't loved him the way a girl should love.  I didn't give much attention. I liked seeing myself through him. Long story short, I wasn't obsessed with him, I was obsessed with myself. And it is not love. Love as a concept, has been romanticized so much by people that calling this love would be a joke.

I have been such a silly girl all through it that whenever I see his face I swallow my past and try act as normal as possible. I am not proud of who I were, but at the moment, I know I am not the same person. I have what they say, a spiritual awakening that this guy- I used to like- is never going to fit as my missing puzzle piece. He is out of shape and he is not the one. He is never going to be the one.

Because I see the someone, the someone in future- as someone very kind, just like my father. Who would genuinely care. Who would see me as enough. I don't need no sweet talk. I am done with sweet talks and Ukulele.
I am so much attracted to actions now. And he is gonna find me, or my parents will, or I will. And if I don't, it is gonna be okay. I have myself. I can take care of myself.









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