I don't know if this happens to anyone.
When I see families to be in a state of normal, I get so sad. It happens when I go to a get together, like my friend's house for example. I see their parents or aunts and uncles and I see them being all wholesome and everything, I get a feeling of inferiority. I have always been, sort of embarrassed of myself and my family, I know it sounds utterly selfish and first world problem but I cannot help but come home feeling drained and depressed.
It makes me think, if only my parents were more attentive toward me since childhood. If they pushed me to be best. If they, instead of saying like I am so bad at whatever I do, said, I believe in you. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad...I spent my entire childhood feeling like, I can't do anything right.
My uncle has a big secret I came to know, after only, becoming an adult. My aunts and uncles are all abroad and I barely have connection with them. My relationship with my grandmother was never okay.
I know I am sounding extremely selfish. I am sounding like, I am so ungrateful for what I have now. I don't hate my parents, I love them, I just wish sometimes, they did things differently that's all.
Not every family is normal. I bet whatever I see in well educated and rich families are not the whole picture. They have their own problems too. Everybody has rough patches in life. Nobody is perfect.
I wish I knew what to do with myself sometimes. I feel so pointless about my life. I wish I was capable of something.
When I see families to be in a state of normal, I get so sad. It happens when I go to a get together, like my friend's house for example. I see their parents or aunts and uncles and I see them being all wholesome and everything, I get a feeling of inferiority. I have always been, sort of embarrassed of myself and my family, I know it sounds utterly selfish and first world problem but I cannot help but come home feeling drained and depressed.
It makes me think, if only my parents were more attentive toward me since childhood. If they pushed me to be best. If they, instead of saying like I am so bad at whatever I do, said, I believe in you. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad...I spent my entire childhood feeling like, I can't do anything right.
My uncle has a big secret I came to know, after only, becoming an adult. My aunts and uncles are all abroad and I barely have connection with them. My relationship with my grandmother was never okay.
I know I am sounding extremely selfish. I am sounding like, I am so ungrateful for what I have now. I don't hate my parents, I love them, I just wish sometimes, they did things differently that's all.
Not every family is normal. I bet whatever I see in well educated and rich families are not the whole picture. They have their own problems too. Everybody has rough patches in life. Nobody is perfect.
I wish I knew what to do with myself sometimes. I feel so pointless about my life. I wish I was capable of something.
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