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Rich slobs are so interesting like you have no fucking idea. I started watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians because I am quite bored of this vacation and never imagined this show will get me hooked like this. It is the instagram effect, I got so many feeds of their snippets and kind of unknowingly decided to give this show a go. So glad I did. They're pretty funny.

Winter is getting on my nerves. My skin looks awful. My hair is in a stupid  shape. I am torn between getting a bob and growing out. I just don't know what to do. When I look at my old short hair pictures, I feel like keeping it long because my curls wouldn't show up then. Now my curls are more defined but the problem is, my hair is breaking at the ends. Almost looks like a mop. I do want healthy locks. But UGH. It's a dilemma!

My parents are sick of my routine. They have to wake me up to eat, literally smack me twice a day for lunch and breakfast. I know they have best interest at heart, but is this the right way to do things? I am 22 for god's sake, they can like scold me or take all my devices away but no, they choose to get physical. This is what I hate about this culture. Parents get too involved. They don't care what we have to say but they will want to get their own way. They would be like, if you don't have this materialistic list of goals achieved, you're a bad kid and therefore you need to be punished physically. I am not sure about others though but I have been brought up like this and I hate what I've come from. I hate everything about my family's system. Such abusive behavior! 

I get that I am a trouble for them. And they're worried sick. There has been times, I thought about being gone. Doing drugs, smoking even. I just want an escape from all this you see. I just want a min of self confinement. No matter how smoothly things will go, I will always have this sunken feeling to not exist. There are hundred and thousand ways, I could have lived my life. I hate to live it this way.

Have I told you, I have been disconnected from my religion for a long while. 
If I ever kill myself, I would be doing it for the hope of no afterlife. 
Anyway, I don't want to take you to my darkest thoughts. I just needed to vent a little. 







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