spring is almost here

I read somewhere something like if you send an energy to the universe, it finds its way back to you...It was based on the theory of power of attraction. I didn't believe in it though. But it happened to me many a times now, the people, I secretly liked, say coincidentally or happened to sit beside me in the movie theater, or say stand closer to me, umm just like I was an opposite polarity of a magnet and I was attracting them toward me. I don't know if these mysterious events that took place were the universe's meddling but let's just say I was always given chances that I didn't take when it was brought to me.

So basically, I had a breakdown the night before my final last exam, I had B plused all my courses this semester and so I was disappointed in me, and I lost motivation to study for the course and I was like what's the point of it all and I was diving into depression and I ended up sobbing and complaining and brooding over everything. 

Side note, These days I feel very alone and scared that I would find nobody to love. By the time I was finished sobbing like a desperate woman, I checked my phone last time before I go to bed and right then! I saw a message. A message that was impossible and so random. And so in an odd hour after my breakdown, almost made me believe like someone was listening to my lame cries. The message wrote Very beautiful with a series of two candid pictures of me and for some weird reason I felt this warmth in my heart, I felt like someone was hugging me after a long exhausting day. I know falling for him again is the stupidest idea, but I know how many times I try convincing myself, that he doesn't like me that way, I can't bring myself not to want him. I smiled through my puffy eyed cheeks reading it over and over, just those two words, his name on my phone screen after what's been a year and I was in euphoric motion. 

I know he just maybe wants to rekindle our friendship and he might know I never saw him as a friend. I fancied him and I liked him, a lot. I am not sure what I feel for him now, maybe I just adore him from a distance. I replied with emojis because I didn't want to start a conversation, I don't know how to do that with him. So it ended there. 

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