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Dear I,
I know it has been the worst kinda day, maybe you didn't deserve it all. Maybe you did. Either way, let this one go.
You will get chances in life, to do better. To serve better. I promise you things can get much worse. But you will have a stronger drive to fight for it, and maybe you will mold into a person much much stronger than you are right now. So don't beat yourself up. The grades don't define how faithful a person you are, how lovable and kind you are. Let this one go and focus on the next.
And I know how unbearable the loneliness is. I know how much you crave love and a sense of belonging to someone. You're only human. Being desperate for love and attention do not make you lesser in character. It just states your vulnerability and the fact that you're not empty inside.
It is okay, completely, to fall for a person for the wrong reasons in the wrong time. And it is okay, he doesn't love you back and think about you as much. It is okay that he feels the same feelings for somebody else.
He doesn't love you doesn't supposed to mean you're not lovable cause he is not the universe and he is not the one to decide. It is okay, if you live a short life, it is okay if you die before having kids that look like you...
You are not here to check every checklist your parents/society decided for you to.
I know there are no shortcuts to hard-work but sometimes you'll just get lucky. You will be lucky next time I believe so.
I believe you will find a way.








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