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I think every girl dreams a wedding, growing up.
I have a wedding planned in the back of my head, I mentally list down things I find eligible for my future wedding and I have been saying wedding a lot.
It is because of the Royals who just got married past Saturday and I can't stop obsessing over the videos, the memes, the picture perfect couple.
Though there's no such chance of me getting wed, At least not for a year and half, but I really do am fancying a wedding!

That guy my mom's told me about, who's mother is my mother's friend, (who I stalked on social media for couple of days) and who might have a chance of meeting me in person in future. That's what my mom tells me. But never have I thought, in actual terms, that he would find his way back to me! When I, out of sheer curiosity sent him a follow request on instagram with showing my first name only, I wasn't sure if he knew me, or if he has by any chance, stalked my profile. I was happy when he accepted it and then followed me for a mere 30 seconds and unfollowed me. I was so upset that he would do such thing like that, Even I haven't been ever rude to strangers on my profile like that. So that day, I sworn myself I will never stalk him again, so I unfollowed back and blocked him and made up my mind that I am never gonna consider marrying this guy, ever.
Guess what? My mother seem to have a quite liking on him and may even consider setting me up! He is in USA by the way, completing his masters I guess, so there's some time in my hand. Also he is not going to see just "one" girl obviously but I know by my mom's countless "battering" I am in the line and I feel quite anxious about it. Why do women in our society have to go through such pressure like this?

Obviously when I stalked his profile, from his pictures I liked him from the start. But that instagram incident made me feel like an idiot and with the tiniest dignity left in me, I don't think I will be able to meet him in person. What if he recognizes me?

As you can see, I am very obsessed about weddings right now but so very little interested in meeting strangers my mom pick for me. I am on my period now, so I am having a rage of emotions at the current moment. Apparently, weddings and babies are sensitive subjects for me. And guess what, today, I saw Music Guy and like other days I could not ignore him because he was right there and my friends were talking with him so I felt obliged to participate but ended up only asking about his niece. It got me thinking, am I not over him yet? Why do I still feel awkward and cannot stare directly at his eyes and feel utter sadness wash over me when he ignores me? I think this is the period talking again.

He just brings all the desperate memories of me and I absolutely hate that. I am not that person anymore. I don't crave his compliments/ attention because these days, I am happy and I glow and I get enough of the compliments/attention from people I actually care about. i.e. My friends. I feel appreciated and loved every day and I cannot be grateful enough. He is just the worst phase that I had and I hope to pass it behind me.

So let's revert back. I really fancy a big fat wedding including mehendi/sangeet program though I am allergic to henna, I want to dress in red and wear tiara tikli and just bride up!

I sometimes wonder if I'd ever get my dreams materialized in future because life is so short!





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