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felt the urge to cut myself again
my thumb has a scratch on it
my mother bit me today
slapped me
because i wanted to go out and it is dark ourside
my cousins called me said they wanted to hangout
I miss them, i do.
Plans got cancelled anyway.
I screamed at the top of my lungs because i am frustrated
at all of them and maybe myself
I don't care what the neighbors think. Sincerely I don't.
Why am I here, when I breathe I don't feel like I am breathing
My mom opened my tear gate again
and this is supposed to be my year.
I am supposed to grow up and not be sad anymore.
they don't know how much is going on in my head.
She doesn't know how much I am hurt. How much I wanted us to work out.
How much I wanted to love her, the way she is. How much I wanted to be loved as her daughter
She never wanted me the way I am. I can't forgive her for how she is to me. I can never be the way she wants me to be. 
I locked myself because I don't wanna face them anymore. 
They suffocate me.  Make me feel small
They complain about me to me every day and night.
I can't take this anymore.
I give up. I want to mute 
all of it.
Sush
Just stop
Don't yell at me
SHUT UP

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