So eid went surprisingly good. I thought my cousins wouldn't show up at our house because all their drivers were on holiday. But my uncle drove them and I had all of my cousins crowded out in my room. My niece came too! And we ate and gossiped and I slept over to another of my cousin's house. So I guess this year's eid wasn't bad at all. It gets better when you don't expect at all...
And I still am kind of hung up over him. I know he doesn't think about as much I do about him. But I still wanted to see him. I still wanted to be with him...This semester is so brutal. I get to see him two days in a week and for like barely an hour. Can you believe it? Sometimes I get late for the class or he leaves for home early and I don't even get to see him the whole week. This is...I don't know how I will manage when we'd go our separate ways. I don't know how I will actually physically control myself seeing him start dating. I mean sooner or later, that has to happen. He can't stay single forever. He gotta date someone. And I will be there to just watch...and play it cool. Oh god. I am so obsessed with the thought of him. I still have three days weekend left, holidays aren't good for me. When I am stuck at home, having all this time to myself to just...THINK. And think. And just think how incredible it would have been if he felt the same about me. Only if he knew how much I cared. You know what scares me? What if knowing that I have all these feelings, drive him away from me? I mean I can tolerate that he sees me as a friend, but what if him knowing I care this much, actually just makes it too awkward for us to even hangout? I would be crushed if something like that happens. SO. I am hiding out, every ounce of feelings I have for him. I am so desperately seeking comfort from another man.
I chatted with this stranger on whisper app, yeah I know, I uninstalled the app, then reinstalled it because I got bored again. Anyway, So this guy have showed me his picture. He isn't bad looking...SO yeah only yesterday, he asked me to send him my picture he wanted to know how I look like. I sent one where I don't look cute. And I sent it because he only knows my last name and with a picture, he wouldn't be able to find me on any social media. So I did it, I sent him. And he said I look pretty. I have beautiful smile. Well I wasn't expecting he would say that. That wasn't my intention of sending that picture at all.
Anyway, If I want to enter into a relationship all I have to do is give this guy my phone number. But how can I go out with a guy who puts on face mask and chats with me telling about it? I mean I appreciate men, grooming. I said what are you up to and he said, I just put on a face mask and am chatting with you. NO. I can't go out with him. I mean I get that he has a job, he is 26, he doesn't look so bad but I can't come to a decision just based on the information he gives me. He is still a stranger in an app I occasionally uninstall. SO NO. I am not gonna jump into things like this to forget the guy I can't stop thinking about.
On a completely different note, I might pierce my nose this month. I just feel like I need to do something to feel different for once. I am tired of my face. SO YEAH.
I want a hole in my nose to put on cute studs. Good for me, eh?
And I still am kind of hung up over him. I know he doesn't think about as much I do about him. But I still wanted to see him. I still wanted to be with him...This semester is so brutal. I get to see him two days in a week and for like barely an hour. Can you believe it? Sometimes I get late for the class or he leaves for home early and I don't even get to see him the whole week. This is...I don't know how I will manage when we'd go our separate ways. I don't know how I will actually physically control myself seeing him start dating. I mean sooner or later, that has to happen. He can't stay single forever. He gotta date someone. And I will be there to just watch...and play it cool. Oh god. I am so obsessed with the thought of him. I still have three days weekend left, holidays aren't good for me. When I am stuck at home, having all this time to myself to just...THINK. And think. And just think how incredible it would have been if he felt the same about me. Only if he knew how much I cared. You know what scares me? What if knowing that I have all these feelings, drive him away from me? I mean I can tolerate that he sees me as a friend, but what if him knowing I care this much, actually just makes it too awkward for us to even hangout? I would be crushed if something like that happens. SO. I am hiding out, every ounce of feelings I have for him. I am so desperately seeking comfort from another man.
I chatted with this stranger on whisper app, yeah I know, I uninstalled the app, then reinstalled it because I got bored again. Anyway, So this guy have showed me his picture. He isn't bad looking...SO yeah only yesterday, he asked me to send him my picture he wanted to know how I look like. I sent one where I don't look cute. And I sent it because he only knows my last name and with a picture, he wouldn't be able to find me on any social media. So I did it, I sent him. And he said I look pretty. I have beautiful smile. Well I wasn't expecting he would say that. That wasn't my intention of sending that picture at all.
Anyway, If I want to enter into a relationship all I have to do is give this guy my phone number. But how can I go out with a guy who puts on face mask and chats with me telling about it? I mean I appreciate men, grooming. I said what are you up to and he said, I just put on a face mask and am chatting with you. NO. I can't go out with him. I mean I get that he has a job, he is 26, he doesn't look so bad but I can't come to a decision just based on the information he gives me. He is still a stranger in an app I occasionally uninstall. SO NO. I am not gonna jump into things like this to forget the guy I can't stop thinking about.
On a completely different note, I might pierce my nose this month. I just feel like I need to do something to feel different for once. I am tired of my face. SO YEAH.
I want a hole in my nose to put on cute studs. Good for me, eh?
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