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I thought the scratches faded and weren't that noticeable. But today, B found out about it and you know how bad I am at hiding. So they know. Oh my god, they must think how weak as a person I am to do such thing. Or how I was craving attention or something. Geez I couldn't even state a valid explanation to T, I don't knowi it was just so much, I didn't know how to say to her; where to start why I did it to myself. I am so ashamed. How can those faded out things came in notice? I almost forgot I had them, I almost forgot about the night I tried to harm myself in someway possible. I almost forgot I felt low, like the lowest human being who was just a wasted space on this earth. But after that night, the week I pulled my shit together, all I could, and I did feel a bit strong and I promised myself I will never ever do such thing ever. But I feel like doing it again for the sake of doing it. No I am not gonna do it. This weekend I am gonna stay positive. Yes. I won't crave such thing. I matter. I do. That's enough for me not to cut my skin.

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