Skip to main content
My sister is pretty settled down with her life now. And she seems happy. That is a good thing I guess, for her. I want her to be happy and appreciating toward life, because my brother on the other hand is totally indifferent toward his. It sucks to see him like this, gradually giving up. I sometimes wish, if I were in his place. What would I do. Being a girl has its advantages. You somehow manage to pull yourself up. No matter how bad the wound is in your heart. You somehow stitch up a patch and go with the flow as it is. You somehow make it through. My brother has been different since this year started... And since then, I have been missing his old self. I don't feel like I have a brother. I don't feel like it. I miss him, being able to talk with me about any topic, his laughter, his eagerness toward food and current affairs of the world and history.

We are twins yet we are so different. Right now, I just want him to be happy. I want him to love himself as much so he could pass the ladder down and pull himself up and take the journey toward life and aliveness. I want him to accept the gift our almighty has given him. I want him to grow, gather experience, rather than pushing the pause button.
I want him to genuinely be happy and eager to live.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

spring is almost here

Hi B,  Season is changing. The hard days are almost over.  The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty.  Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming.  Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me.  Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life.  It feels like I'm falling in love with the city.  I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place.  I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke.  My new mantra for life now is to chill.  Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city.  Write poems.  Paint, maybe.  Seek positivity.  Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
Post a Comment
Read more
 Some thoughts. Our old generation glorified selfless acts to the point that they started calling putting themselves first as: 'selfish.'  To a certain period of time, I have also followed this pattern.  I thought taking care of me is selfish.  Where taking care of me is fundamental.  You cannot pour out of a cup, which is empty.  So pour yourself first.   I have to unlearn so many of these toxic patterns because these have made my life only miserable and problematic. I am learning that evolving is crucial for living with inner peace.  These days, I value so much about inner peace.  I'll choose it over others anytime, and it is not selfish. It is in fact for greater good.
Post a Comment
Read more

long distance again

 I came back from my trip. It was amazing 2 weeks of my life. Seeing him again after so long felt strange yet peaceful. I finally got to be in his arms again. 2 weeks flew by and now I am back home and back to work and normal hustle and bustle of life.  He got an extension offer and decided to stay for another 3 months. It is sad because he was supposed to be back next month. He asked me if he should take it and despite having my heart aching I supported him in the decision. It is not confirmed yet but he probably be staying another 3. Another 5 months of long distance. How am I going to survive the winter by myself? I don't know. Honestly, in my heart, I don't care about how much compensation he be getting. I miss him so much and this long distance thing is killing me inside. Today is Friday night and instead of cuddles and movie, I am home alone. No plans to look forward. No one to talk to. I am the loneliest girl on earth right now. He is probably sleeping and not picking u...
Post a Comment
Read more