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My period ended and all the horrible feelings have left me to this realization that- No. I can't let have my self-esteem be shattered down for him. Who is he? I met him like a year ago, and since then he has been a constant torture in my mind, always making me feel like I am an inferior to him, and he only talked to me when he felt like. And that's not how it should work for me. I can't. I can't let him know I love him.

I guess it is time to mentally break up with him. Yes, moving on from a crush is kind of a heart break and you wouldn't know until you go through a situation like this. It is goddamn hard. Everyday, he is the reason, I look forward to going classes. Now I have to completely avoid this inspiring feeling and it ain't easy.

Let's focus. Things I don't like about him.
He is short and kinda skinny. His eyes aren't worth falling for. He bullies people. He has superiority complex. He ain't easy to hang out with. He smokes. 13-14 or more cigarettes a day. He makes a weird sound when he laughs. He flirts with other girls, who are attractive and good looking, therefore, he only sees the outer beauty. He is friends with Meanie, I don't like Meanie. He shows off his friendship with this girl I have bio class with and this girl also shows off a lot like they are the coolest BFFS ever which kinda sounds lame. He has a past. I feel like he is still holding on to his ex which is kind of unattractive, he isn't welcoming to the idea of meeting new person to fall in love, he doesn't maybe believe in love anymore which is a let down. He is...Moody. He is egoistic.

I tried to make another para but I think that's about it. I just need my mind to concentrate on his bad sides and just not like him anymore. Not think about him anymore. It sucks to be in this position. I don't wanna be in this position. He doesn't love me I am sure of that. I don't want to be the only one bearing the burden of love, it sucks. I want to forget him for real. Forever.






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