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If I could make a movie out of my life, he would certainly be the devil whom I'd fall madly in love with but be in denial all through the interval.  And the climax would be that we end up being a couple, not highly functioning but...we'd be passionate and wild and a perfect mess. And we seem to get it together by arguing, hurting, clashing and one dominating another and eventually we would find the exit to the dark black tunnel that was our relationship. My movie would have a sad ending with no hope and no sequel.

Thankfully. I am not a movie directer/producer/writer. And so in real life it is kind of hazy. Basically. He doesn't like me that way so. I don't know. I get the vibe that I am never going to be someone he would ever even think about asking out. But I like how it is. I don't know what he thinks of me...He doesn't hint out as well. And he doesn't know I fancy him...HAHA. So fun. No scope of knowing what really goes on. But it surely adds up to the spice in the life I am missing out.

Every time I see him something dramatic happens. Every freaking time. I get too weird or he gets too...cocky? Today I put on my favorite hand cream and it had a strong fragrance, everybody in the cafe was complementing me about how good I smelt but he...He had to do something to steal my thunder. He said, let me see your hands and guess what I showed him and he smelt out of the sleeves of my sweater and said he didn't like it. He made me, MADE me sanitize my hands so he didn't have to be bothered by the smell anymore. How could he do that? It got into my nerves and I tried my best today to give him what he deserved. You can say, I tried to be a little rude. He can be dominating and controlling, I hate it yet I like him for it. I don't know how's that even possible.But this is how it is now.

But the other day. My dad came late to pick me up, so he and Batman stayed for like two hours for me after the class because it was getting dark. I thought it was really sweet of them. Although they said, they would hang out anyway because they had no plans at home...But either way, I liked he stayed. It was a friendly gesture, but ANY-WHO I felt cared for. And it made my day just sitting beside him, listening what he had to say, though I couldn't find anything relevant to say at the moment but it doesn't matter. I am not trying to win him over because that would be so vain. We don't belong. We just don't. Simple as that.

Today we watched LA LA LAND at T's place. It was nice. As long as I am with my friends I feel like I am fine, keeping my life together. As I am home I feel like a train-wreck. I have tons of studying to do yet I am planning my outfit for the BBQ party that's happening on Saturday. Pathetic I know.








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